Finding God in the Aftermath of Apocalyptic Destruction of Nagasaki by “Fat Man” through Dr. Takashi Nagai’s Words

Where was God?! 

We often cry out for God’s presence when we face unbearable suffering or unfathomable catastrophic phenomenon. Perhaps, it is our attempt to draw meaning in it. 

“Where was God?!” - This must be what Elijah wondered upon hearing His command to go out of the cave where he was hiding in fear and stand on Mount Horeb as He was passing by (1 Kings 19:11). He was hiding in the cave because of fear of being captured and killed by a wicked pagan queen of Israel, Jezebel, who brought Baal worship to this northern kingdom of the Israelites (i.e. 1 Kings 18:16-19:9).

Then, a powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks, an earthquake came, followed by a fire. But God was not found in none of them (1 Kings 19:11-12a). But, when a gentile whisper came, after the fire, Elijah recognized the presence of God, covering his face with his cloak out of reverence and finally came out of the cave (1 Kings 19:12b-13). 

What Elijah came out of was not just the cave but his fear. So he went on to complete his mission for God (1 Kings 19:14-2 Kings 2:12).

This story of Elijah, a prophet commissioned by God to bring Israel, the northern kingdom, back to faith in God, during the 9th BC, is reflected in the First Reading of the 19th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A (1 Kings 19:9a, 11-13a).

This year, 2026, this reading was read at Mass on the 81st memorial day of the dropping of “Fat Man”, a plutonium bomb, upon the City of Nagasaki, Japan, August 9, 1945, is also the 19th Sunday, on Cycle A. There is certainly something in this story of Elijah’s experience to the 1945 tragedy of Nagasaki. 

At 11:02 am, “Fat Man” was dropped from a B-29 US bomber, in Nagasaki. This was the second atomic bomb dropped in Japan, following the dropping of a uranium bomb, “Little Boy”, in Hiroshima on the feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord, 1945. 

In fact, “Fat Man” was originally to be dropped in Kokura, Fukuoka, Japan, on August 9, 1945. However, B-29 bomber’s pilot could not see the target because of the heavily foggy or smoky air condition there. So, it was decided to drop the bomb in Nagasaki, instead. Though it was to be on industrial facilities were, where the pilot could see through a break in the cloud was on the Urakami district, according to the pilot’s log. In contrast, the meteorological record and testimonies of people in Nagasaki indicate that the weather in the morning of that day was fine. 

Regardless of the gap between the pilot’s record and the record of the Nagasaki meteorological station, as well as, testimonies of people in Nagasaki, “Fat Man” was dropped and exploded upon where many Catholics lived around the cathedral. 

Many were evaporated at the moment of the blast. If they did not disappear without a trace due to a certain distance from the epicenter, they were incinerated. If not completely consumed by fire, reduced to ashes, many corps were left severely charred, soon to be infested with maggots. As Hiroshima was transformed into a hell on earth upon the dropping of “Little Boy”, an uranium bomb, so was Nagasaki upon the dropping of “Fat Man” a plutonium bomb. 

Those who managed to survive were in the state of desolation. 

But the omnipresent God (i.e. Psalm 139:7-10) was somewhere, or wasn’t He?

Was He found in the blast and the destructive forces of the bomb? 

Of course not!  God was not in all of these destructions brought by the bomb because the tragedies were what human evil had created. This was indicated in these words of Robert Oppenheimer (“Physics in the Contemporary World,” (1948) Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists vol. 4, Issue 3):

The physics which played the decisive part in the development of the atomic bomb came straight out of our laboratories and our journals. Despite the vision and the far seeing wisdom of our wartime heads of state, the physicists felt a peculiarly intimate responsibility for suggesting, for supporting, and in the end, in large measure, for achieving, the realization of atomic weapons. Nor can we forget that these weapons, as they were in fact used, dramatized so mercilessly the inhumanity and evil of modern war. In some sort of crude sense which no vulgarity, no humor, no over-statement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose [...].  

God was not found in the flash of the atomic light. Not in the 4,000°C heat. Not in the radiation. Not in that destructive wind, either. As Elijah did not find God in the destructive wind, the earthquake, and the fire. 

Certainly, because “Fat Man” was a product of human evil, as in the case of “Little Boy”, all these catastrophic forces of an atomic bomb are evil, as a result of what St. Augustine of Hippo calls “privatio boni”, deprivation of the goodness in God’s Creation by human minds. 

Then, where was God? 

Many believers must have wondered, as Elijah could have when he did not find Him in the destructive wind, the earthquake, and the fire. 

Those who are anti-Catholic regarded the atomic bomb that killed many Catholics as a divine punishment on Catholics. This can reflect long-standing hatred toward Catholics in Japan, rooted in 286 years of persecution, from 1597 until 1873. There are people who attributed it to God’s punishment because of Japan’s military aggression during the war. But those who were killed by the atomic bomb were innocent citizens. The bomb was dropped above a residential area where Catholics were concentrated. The military leaders who were responsible for the war were not punished until the Allied Forces held tribunals after the war. Those who subscribe to utilitarianism make moral justification of the bombing, saying that this second atomic bomb was dropped in Nagasaki so that more lives could be saved as it prompted Japan to accept the terms of the Potsdam Declaration to end the war, comparing the “relatively smaller” number of the victims of the bombs to the number of potential casualties, if Japan had continued to fight. The very innocent human lives are reduced to a mere moral calculus of utilitarianism, a typical case for “the trolly operator’s dilemma problem”. 

These are products of typical human minds, different from God’s (i.e. Isaiah 55:8-9). They are not able to address “where God possibly was”.  What is necessary to find God and draw meaning with this utterly horrific event is to align our minds to God through the Holy Spirit (i.e. Romans 8:5-8), trusting Him unconditionally (i.e. Proverbs 3:5-6). For this reason, St. Ignatius of Loyola developed the Spiritual Exercises so that God may be found in all things, even in tragedies, if we are committed (i.e. Jeremiah 29:13). Otherwise, we risk ourselves to slip into a trap in our theodicy quest, a problem of evil. 

God surely did not abandon innocent citizens of Nagasaki, especially faithful believers, in desolation even though they experienced the forlorn state of mind (i.e. Psalm 22:1).

A Catholic physician, a professor of radiology at Nagasaki University, Dr. Takashi Nagai, knew, that the tragedy was not God’s punishment. He recognized God’s presence even in the hellish reality. He was significantly wounded and lost his beloved wife, Midori, to the evil forces of the bomb. He suffered physically, psychologically, and spiritually. Nevertheless, he tirelessly and selflessly took care of many injured people not only as a physician but as a man of faith, living the Gospel teaching of Jesus who commanded to love one another as he loves us (i.e. John 13:34). Out of his agape, he took care of them as he would do for himself (i.e. Matthew 22:39; Leviticus 19:18) and as the Good Samaritan did for a stranger (i.e. Luke 10:30-35). And this act of love was associated with his love of God with all his heart, soul, and mind (i.e. Matthew 22:37-38; Deuteronomy 6:5). Indeed, God was with him (i.e. Psalm 46:8), and he was with Him.

The way Dr. Nagai lived in the face of the tragedies evokes these words of St. Paul spoken to Athenians:

The God who made the world and all that is in it, the Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in sanctuaries made by human hands, nor is he served by human hands because He needs anything. Rather it is He who gives to everyone life and breath and everything. He made from one the whole human race to dwell on the entire surface of the earth, and he fixed the ordered seasons and the boundaries of their regions, so that people might seek God, even perhaps grope for Him and find Him, though indeed He is not far from any one of us. For “In Him we live and move and have our being,” as even some of your poets have said, “For we too are His offspring.” (Acts 17:24-28)

In the aftermath of the plutonium bomb’s explosion, Dr. Nagai embodied the fact that God was not far but rather closer to any of victim of the bomb’s devastating effects. He was, indeed, with the victims and within them in their hearts for their faith.  God’s racham out of Him chesed , was with them, both the deceased and the survived. This was revealed through Dr. Nagai’s actions, as it must have been shown to him in his contemplative prayers. The way Dr. Nagai responded to this the calamitous reality caused by human evil also called others to seek God in their grief, pain, suffering, struggle, and dwindling hope.

In fact, through his steadfast faith, Dr. Nagai recognized the apocalyptic devastation of Nagasaki as God’s providence to be thankful. 

This sounds so counterintuitive to human minds. However, a person whose heart and mind are aligned to God may find God beyond what seems paradoxical in reality.  This is comparable to St. Paul finding joy in suffering, knowing that God has poured out His love through the Holy Spirit, to keep hope and to further grow in faith-filled character (i.e. Romans 5:2-5). Finding peace in infirmity that leads to death, as experienced by Fr. Pedro Arrupe and Cardinal Joseph Bernadine, is also comparable to this. 

While many believers wondered “why us to suffer and our loved ones to have been killed” and worried, “if those who were destroyed by the bomb had committed a grave sin triggering God’s wrath”, Dr. Takashi expressed his view at the first memorial service on November 2, 1945, in these words (as recorded in Fr. Paul Glynn’s “Song of Nagasaki”, translated from the original words were written by Dr. Nagai in his ”The Bells of Nagasaki”):

Is there not a profound relationship between the annihilation of Nagasaki and the end of the war? Was not Nagasaki the chosen victim, the lamb without blemish, slain as a whole burnt offering on an altar of sacrifice, atoning for the sins of all the nations during World War II?

We are inheritors of Adam’s sin… of Cain’s sin. He killed his brother. Yes, we have forgotten we are God’s children. We have turned to idols and forgotten love. Hating one another, killing one another, joyfully killing one another! At last the evil and horrific conflict came to an end,  but mere repentance was not enough for peace…  We had to offer a stupendous sacrifice…  Cities had been leveled. But even that was no enough… Only this hansai [holocaust] on His altar… so that many millions of lives might be saved.

……

How noble, how splendid, was that holocaust of midnight August 9, when flames soared up from the cathedral, dispelling darkness and bringing the light of peace [the emperor is said to have given his agreement in Tokyo for peace at the exact time the Urakami cathedral burst into flames]. In the very depths of our grief, we were able to gaze up to something beautiful, pure, and sublime.

……

Happy are those who weep; they shall be comforted. We must walk the way of reparation… ridiculed, whipped, punished for our crimes, sweaty and bloody.  But we can turn our minds to Jesus carrying his Cross up the hill to Calvary… The Lord has given; the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Let us be thankful that Nagasaki was chosen for the whole burnt sacrifice! Let us be thankful that through this sacrifice, peace was granted to the world and religious freedom to Japan.

Now Dr, Nagai offers an answer to a question, “Why faithful people of Nagasaki have been killed and have to suffer?” And it is because God has chosen the faithful of Nagasaki, especially in the district of Urakami, to be a holocaust to atone human sin of the war , which also led to the development and the use of “Fat Man” on Nagasaki, as well as, “Little Boy” on Hiroshima. The faithful who were sacrificed by “Fat Man” were also to redeem peace on earth from the bonds of human evil. 

Namely, Dr. Nagai juxtaposed the victims of the atomic bomb to Jesus who died on the Cross. Indeed, what killed Jesus was human evil, culminating in all brutal acts inflicted on him on Good Friday. 

This view of Dr. Nagai reflects these words in the Latter to the Hebrews in regard to Jesus, in connection to David’s words in Psalm 40:7-9:

Since the law has only a shadow of the good things to come, and not the very image of them, it can never make perfect those who come to worship by the same sacrifices that they offer continually each year. Otherwise, would not the sacrifices have ceased to be offered, since the worshipers, once cleansed, would no longer have had any consciousness of sins? But in those sacrifices there is only a yearly remembrance of sins, for it is impossible that the blood of bulls and goats take away sins. For this reason, when he came into the world, he said: “Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but a body you prepared for me; holocausts and sin offerings you took no delight in. Then I said, ‘As is written of me in the scroll, Behold, I come to do your will, O God.’” First he says, “Sacrifices and offerings, holocausts and sin offerings, you neither desired nor delighted in.” These are offered according to the law. Then he says, “Behold, I come to do your will.” He takes away the first to establish the second. By this “will,” we have been consecrated through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all (Hebrews 10:1-10; cf. Psalm 40:7-9; cf. Leviticus 14:19-20).

Of course, this is not to say that the faithful of Nagasaki who became a holocaust to atone human sin of the war are to be put on the scale of Jesus’ self-sacrifice to reconcile us with God as our eternal High Priest. Rather, it is to augment the redemptive suffering of Jesus on the Cross so that we may find meaning of tragedies caused by human evil, with joy and peace, in the deaths of the faithful and their suffering (i.e. Colossians 1:24), as addressed by St. John Paul II, in his 1984 Apostolic Letter, “Salvifici Doloris”.

As Elijah found God in a gentle whispering, following the wind, earthquake, and fire, to resume his mission anew, overcoming fear 1 Kings 19:9-21), the faithful of Nagasaki found God through the above words of Dr. Nagai and renewed hope and strengths to restore the city from the destruction. And so have done many more since that memorial service. Otherwise, we would not see the City of Nagasaki, with the Immaculate Conception Cathedral of Urakami, standing as it does today, to give powerful testimony of omnipresence God’s providence enabling the faithful of Nagasaki to endure suffering with joy and peace.  

Today, we continue to find God in the sound of the bells of the Immaculate Conception Cathedral of Urakami, Nagasaki, reflecting Dr. Nagai's view. 

Transfiguration of the Lord vs Transformation of Hiroshima by Atomic Bomb

It was on the Feast of Transfiguration of the Lord, August 6, 1945, when the United States dropped an atomic bomb on the very heart of the City of Hiroshima, Japan. 

The Transfiguration of the Lord is what Christians place eschatological hope on, as it points to the return of Christ in glory (Revelation 19:11-16; cf. Daniel 7:13-14). However, in 1945, this feast day turned into a day of mass massacre and the beginning of unfolding suffering and death for years to follow. 

Some juxtapose the Transfiguration of the Lord to the instantaneous transformation of Hiroshima from a lively city into a man-made hell on earth. It is because both come with light. However, the glorious light of the Transfiguration is divine, while the flashing light of the atomic bomb blast is not. Nevertheless, there are people who believe that the extraordinary light of the atomic bomb is also divine because the destruction of Hiroshima was God’s judgement against Japan, executed through the United States, because Japan did not surrender as demanded by the Potsdam Declaration, issued on July 26, 1945. In the declaration’s last paragraph of the Declaration, it is stated:

We call upon the Government of Japan to proclaim now the unconditional surrender of all the Japanese armed forces, and to provide proper and adequate assurances of their good faith in such action. The alternative for Japan is prompt and utter destruction.

By July 26, the United States was ready to drop an atomic bomb as its test in the Jornada del Muerto desert basin in New Mexico on July 16, known as the “Trinity”, was successful. The test demonstrated that an atomic bomb’s blast could be brighter than a thousand suns, as Robert Oppenheimer put it. Yet, its effect evokes an image of the end of the world. The location of the Trinity test, Jordana del Muerto seems to bear certain meaning as it means “a dead man’s journey” in Spanish.

The United States’ intention to use of an atomic bomb was coded with the expression “prompt and utter destruction”. 

Obviously, Japan did not surrender as the Potsdam Declaration demanded in a timely manner.

President Harry Truman stated on dropping the atomic bomb in Hiroshima on August 6, 1945: 

Sixteen hours ago an American airplane dropped one bomb on Hiroshima, an important Japanese Army base. That bomb had more power than 20,000 tons of T.N.T. It had more than two thousand times the blast power of the British "Grand Slam" which is the largest bomb ever yet used in the history of warfare.

The Japanese began the war from the air at Pearl Harbor. They have been repaid many fold. And the end is not yet. With this bomb we have now added a new and revolutionary increase in destruction to supplement the growing power of our armed forces. In their present form these bombs are now in production and even more powerful forms are in development.

…….

We are now prepared to obliterate more rapidly and completely every productive enterprise the Japanese have above ground in any city. We shall destroy their docks, their factories, and their communications. Let there be no mistake; we shall completely destroy Japan's power to make war.

It was to spare the Japanese people from utter destruction that the ultimatum of July 26 was issued at Potsdam. Their leaders promptly rejected that ultimatum. If they do not now accept our terms they may expect a rain of ruin from the air, the like of which has never been seen on this earth. Behind this air attack will follow sea and land forces in such numbers and power as they have not yet seen and with the fighting skill of which they are already well aware.

Through these words, Truman told the American people that the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima to destroy a major Japanese army base, as to make a manifold revenge of Japan’s attack on the Pearl Harbor US naval base. But the atomic bomb was not aimed an army base but the heart of the city of Hiroshima where ordinary people were living. 

According to the above words of his, Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb in Japan because Japan “rejected” the Potsdam Declaration. However, it is not necessarily true – unless you regard “not responding yet” as the same as “rejecting”. 

As a matter of fact, the war could have ended peacefully without the use of an atomic bomb, because there was a rising hope to start a diplomatic negotiation to end the war by July 1945. As the Emperor of Japan expressed his desire to find a way to end the war as soon as possible by negotiating with the United States to Prime Minister Kantaro Suzuki, and the United States was aware of this move, there was a possibility to end the war through a diplomatic negotiation, regardless of the Potsdam Declaration. For this reason, a prominent US diplomat, Joseph Grew, who was the US ambassador to Japan before the war, was eager to be sent to Tokyo for the negotiation. However, Grew was never given a chance. This may suggest that the United States had another reason to drop an atomic bomb in Japan. Otherwise, Grew could have been negotiating with his Japanese counterpart. 

You may have wondered why Japan did not respond to the Potsdam Declaration sooner. 

On June 22, 1945, the Emperor of Japan urged Prime Minister, Kantaro Suzuki, to work a way out to end the war, negotiating for peace with the United States. However, Minister of Army, Korechika Anami strongly insisted to fight to death and never to surrender. The cabinet members could not reach consensus to respond to the Potsudam Declaration.  It was the situation when Japan received the Potsdam proclamation. 

When Japan received the Potsdam Declaration, the cabinet members found it too difficult to accept as it was, as Japan wanted to have some conditions to surrender. However, the Declaration did not allow any room for negotiation as it demands unconditional surrender as the only option for Japan. In response to this,  the Army was furious and demanded to reject the Declaration and continue to fight until the last soldier would stand. Even those who were leaning to negotiate to end the war were upset to find no room for negotiation. It was very difficult for Prime Minister Suzuki to steer the cabinet council, which Emperor entrusted. Of course, Suzuki himself wanted to end the war as soon as possible, as Emperor did. However,  given the reactions of the cabinet members, he needed more time to respond. So, for the time being, he said, “mokusatsu”, which can mean “not to respond” or “to ignore”.  Alas, the United States regarded Japan’s “mokusatsu” to the Declaration as “rejection” of it. 

If the Declaration were written differently, allowing a negotiation, it is likely that the atomic bomb was unnecessary. If Minister of Army did not keep demanding to fight but went along with Minister of Navy, who was ready for a negotiation, there could have been a diplomatic meeting before July 26, 1945, and that could have the Declaration unnecessary. 

With all these things considered, was the dropping of an atomic bomb in Hiroshima a just act or a divine punishment against Japan? Do these facts make the light of the atomic bomb’s blast comparable to the glorious light of the Transfiguration of the Lord? Or, was it a result of a myriad of human problems, stemming from the dark side of human mind? 

If the latter is an answer, then, there is a lesson from the Transfiguration of the Lord.

The fact that Jesus Christ transfigured in the glorious divine light, projecting his eschatological return, calls us to conform ourselves to the likeliness of him (Romans 8:29). This means to transform ourselves to become more like him through conversion (i.e. Romans 12:2), reflecting his glorious light (i.e. 2 Corinthians 3:18). As we let the Transfiguration of the Lord be reflected on us by way of conversion of our hearts and conforming ourselves to his image, the world will be peaceful. 

The logic of Truman’s reason to drop an atomic bomb on Hiroshima, as a retaliation to Japan’s Pearl Harbor bombing, will not stand in the divine court where the Lord judges, as Jesus, who transfigured in the glorious light, has taught against lex talionis (i.e. Matthew 5:38-42), as revenge keeps a vicious cycle of anger and hatred. In fact, the problem of Truman’s logic was challenged by Ben Bruce Blakeney, an American defense counsel for Japan during Tokyo Tribunal. He stated:

If the killing of Admiral Kidd by the bombing of Pearl Harbor is murder, we know the name of the very man whose hands loosed the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, we know the chief of staff who planned the act, we know the chief of the responsible state. Is murder on their consciences? We may well doubt it. We may well doubt it, and not because the event of armed conflict has declared their cause just and their enemies unjust, but because the act is not murder. Show us the charge, produce the proof of the killing contrary to the laws and customs of war, name the man whose hand dealt the blow, produce the responsible superior who planned, ordered, permitted or acquiesced in this act, and you have brought a criminal to the bar of justice.

However, the Tribunal did not let this challenge to Truman’s retaliation logic proceed by applying the sovereignty immunity doctrine manipulatively. The side that wins war enjoy this doctrine, and this is how “justice” was carried out and the legality of the use of the atomic bomb was never addressed in the Tribunal. This is another form of “mokusatsu”. 

Even it has been 81 years since the atomic bomb blasted on Hiroshima, the war has not ended as many have been still suffering and struggling with various effects from radiation. Not to mention, true justice that can stand in the divine court ..  not carried out in a human court in regard to the use of the atomic bomb, the darkness of human mind has not overcome yet. 

Let the divine glorious light of the Transfiguration drive the darkness out of our hearts so that we may be transformed into the likelihood of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Then “Pacem in Terris” and justice shall become reality, prior to the return of Christ in his glory to judge us and the world. 

Let us not be fooled by the argument that the atomic bombing of Hiroshima was a divine act just because it occurred on the feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord. Such an argument can be a result of evil in human mind. The light of the atomic bomb blast is not even comparable to the glorious divine light of the Transfiguration of the Lord, for the latter was from the darkness of human mind, led to the darkness of death. Let us seek the divine light of the Transfiguration so that we may be true children of the light of the truth and justice (i.e. Ephesians 5:8) so that we may be agents for peace.

Thinking of the Life of St. Ignatius of Loyola on His 470th Memorial Anniversary

 They say, all Saints used to be sinners like us. Of course, St. Mary is the exception as she is the Immaculate Conception. She did not let sin creep into her during all her earthly life. But all other Saints were once sinners. St. Peter, the first Pope, was, too. In fact, his sinfulness tried to reject Jesus, saying, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man”(Luke 5:8). In response, Jesus foresaw this sinful Galilean fisher man to be a great disciple and said to him, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men”(Luke 5:10). And he began catching men (i.e. Acts 2:41).

St. Ignatius of Loyola, born in the Basque region of Spain on October 23, 1491, was a sinner like St. Peter, though he was not a fisherman. He hailed from a noble family, unlike Peter. He was a knighted solder, known for his gusto and vainglory, as Peter was a disciple with impulsivity and empty pride (i.e. Luke 22:33). Perhaps, as a young man, Ignatius was dreaming to be a well-respected and admired general of the Spanish army. However, on May 20, 1521, at the Battle of Pamplona, fighting against France as an officer with valor, a French cannon ball smashed his leg. What was shattered was not just his leg but his ambition in military career. 

The injury was so grave. Ignatius could have been dead. But, he miraculously survived and underwent multiple painful orthopedic surgeries. Back then, there was no anesthesia. Though these operations did not completely fix his leg, Ignatius was able to make revery. 

In fact, it was during this convalescence from a near-mortal battle wound that Ignatius’ long journey of conversion began.

Being bed-ridden, Ignatius was bored. There was no smart phone. There was no TV.  So he asked his sister to bring him some books so that he would kill some time. Then, she gave him books on the lives of the Saints and on the life of Christ. These were not books he wanted to read. His would have preferred to read on lives of great military heroes and chivalry. But better than nothing. So, he began reading these books on the Saints and Jesus. At that time, who would have ever thought that Ignatius would become one of the Saints. 

Though reluctantly at first, as Ignatius read these books, he found himself drawn to the lives of the Saints, especially, St. Francis of Assisi, who was also a soldier once, and the life of Christ. He began to think of himself serving Christ the King, rather than the Spanish crown. During this time, Mary, holding baby Jesus, appeared to him in a vision. This personal encounter with Jesus and Mary was a turning point for him to let go off his previous ambition for self-glory through military career but to follow and serve Christ for his glory.  Like St. Paul, Ignatius crucified his old sinful self with Christ and found Christ in him (i.e. Galatians 2:20). It means he died to sin and live a new life in Christ (Romans 6:11).

The healing of Ignatius was not only physical but spiritual as his conversion began while physical convalescence was taking place. When he was healed to be well enough to step out of his house, he was filled with fresh zeal to serve Christ the King. In March 1522, he left his home of comfort and luxury for good to search for his way to serve the King. In a way, this is similar to the way Gautama left his palace to find a way to be free from suffering, leading him to become Buddha. 

First, Ignatius surrendered his sword, which was symbolic to his pride, to the Virgin of Montserrat and kept the vigil before the alter on the night from March 24 to 25, 1522. It is a statue of Mary with baby Jesus. Then he gave his clothes to the poor and put a poor man’s cloth, Ignatius, indeed, became a blessed anav (i.e. Matthew 5:3).

At that point, Ignatius was thinking to make his pilgrimage to Jerusalem through begging. But before heading to the Holy Land, he felt the need to go through intense penance. This led him to solitude in Manresa and entered a cave there. This is where Ignatius conversion became so intense, for he struggled with intensifying carnal desires as he became extremely ascetic in his efforts to purify himself. He experienced severe depression and spiritual distress. He was even on the verge of despair and could have committed suicide in the cave. Though his soul was shaken, it was not shattered. There was something that sustained him though he deprived himself of food and water.

It was August 1522, when he was sitting on the bank of the Cardoner River in Manresa, looking at the river flow, the Holy Spirit began to illuminate his soul, after about 5 months of desolation. He had a mystical vision on the banks of the river. The vision was rather metaphysical. However, Ignatius understood what it meant. It was a realization that the presence of God can be found in all things. In this realization, Ignatius saw how intricately God has been involved in His Creation all the time. It is not a form of pantheism, as espoused by Baruch Spinoza. Rather, it is about God’s sustaining providence in His Creation (i.e. Matthew 10:29-30), because all things were created were created by and through God and all things are held together in Him (Colossians 1:16-17). In fact, it was through Christ the Theos-Logos that all things were created (John 1:3, 10; 1 Corinthians 8:6). For this reason, Jesus uses many things in Creation as metaphors to explain our relation to God (i.e. John 10:1-18, 25-30; 15:1-11) and His Kingdom (i.e. Matthew 13: 4-50).

This mystical illuminative experience on the banks of the Cardoner River in Manresa was a very powerful turning point in his ongoing conversion and spiritual growth. He realized that he did not need to seclude himself in a cave and remain ascetic to encounter God. This also prompted him to write his thoughts and reflections on his experience in Manresa, and this became the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola.  Through this writing, we see that his desolation, where he experiences series of crises, was followed by consolation, in which he found himself as a new person in Christ, seeing God, His providence, in all things in the Creation. 

Upon this, Ignatius set his eyes firmly on Jerusalem as he left Manresa. However, his path of spiritual growth and pilgrimage was never smooth even though he was enlightened and grace-filled.  He continued to face challenges. 

Having been renewed in Manresa, Ignatius managed to make his way to Jerusalem. However, his wish for this pilgrimage to the Holy City was outright rejected, He was ordered to leave the city by the Franciscans that held the papal jurisdiction over Jerusalem. It was when the Holy Land was ruled by the Ottoman Empire, and the Franciscans were commissioned by Pope to ensure safety of pilgrims. The situation was always touchy as there was a tension between the Church and the Ottoman Empire in the Holy City. Because of this, they had the authority to reject anyone who was suspected to disturb peace and compromise safety there. Perhaps, the Franciscans ordered Ignatius to leave Jerusalem for his safety. Or, maybe he was seen as a potential trouble-maker. Regardless, it must be extremely disappointing for him to be ordered to leave, as he did not make his pilgrimage out of whim but rather through his discernment for God’s will, thinking to live there for the rest of his life. 

This rejection experience actually served to open his eyes to what was lacking in him. That was education. And he returned to Spain to pursue formal education. It was 1524, and he was already 33 years old. He swallowed his pride and humbled himself to sit with a bunch of teen agers in an elementary Latin class to begin. By that time, he was also thinking for priesthood. 

Upon completing his Latin courses in Barcelona, Ignatius enrolled at the University of Alcalá in 1526. While studying there, he began teaching, especially on the Spiritual Exercises. However, the inquisition found his teaching suspicious of unorthodoxy and imprisoned him for this. He was ordered not to teach until he would complete his university education in theology and philosophy. He transferred to the University of Salamanca afterward to complete his required education in 1527. At this institution, he was in trouble with the inquisition and imprisoned, too. 

Too many troubles to continue university education? Not for Ignatius. Remember, he is a man of gusto. And his zeal to pursue God and grow in faith was renewed through his experience in Manresa. He sure was not a quitter. So all these troubles at Spanish universities prompted him to leave Spain and to study further in France. 

Ignatius, then, enrolled at the University of Paris, where St. Albert the Great, and his student, St. Thomas Aquinas, taught, in 1528, determined to become a priest. He earned a bachelor’s degree in 1533 and a master of arts degree in 1535. He was already 43 years old to put all the minimum credentials under his belt to be ordained and teach as a priest. 

What Ignatius gained at the University of Paris was not just necessary education to serve Christ as a priest in his Church but life-long friends, Peter Faber and Francis Xavier. It was Ignatius who introduced the Spiritual Exercises to both these friends, hoping the Exercises would help them seek a life of service for God. 

Though Peter Faber engaged in the Spiritual Exercises and was ordained as a priest on May 30, 1534, Francis Xavier persistently declined to accept the Exercises because he was more interest in pursuing worldly wealth as Spain was expanding its hegemonic sphere. To his, Ignatius pressed on Francis on these words of Jesus:

What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life? (Matthew 16:26).

Thus, Francis Xavier’s worldly interest was shattered and he also agreed to go through the Spiritual Exercises. Upon this Ignatius, Peter, Francis, and four other men took a private vow for a life of poverty, chastity, and service, on August 15, 1534 at Montmartre. 

In 1537, Ignatius and his companions, including Peter Faber and Francis Xavier, moved to Venice. It was originally to sail for the Holy Land. However, this plan had to be canceled due to a naval conflict between the Republic of Venice and Ottoman Empire. Then, they stayed in Venice and engaged in various pastoral services, especially for the sick, the poor, and the marginalized. They even took demeaning tasks to take care of those who were in great needs with loving compassion and humility.  This was, indeed, the Jesuits in its prenatal phase, formed out of the pastoral service reflecting these words of Jesus:

Whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me (Matthew 25:40).

The way Ignatius formed the Jesuits has its roots very similar to the Franciscans and the Vincentians – caring for those who in greater needs among us as a service to the Lord. 

In this year, 1537, on July 24, Ignatius of Loyola, Peter Faber, and Francis Xavier, together with Simão Rodrigues, Nicholas Bobadilla, Jean Codure and Claude Le Jay. All of them had been with Ignatius from Paris. And out of these seven dedicated men, the Society of Jesus, the Jesuits, was formed, while they remained diligently engaged in pastoral services in Venice. 

On September 25, 1540, Pope Paul III approved the Jesuits as an official religious order in the Catholic Church, when Protestantism was sweeping across Europe, issuing his papal bull, “Regimini militantis Ecclesiae”.  This means that the Jesuits are to play a vital part of the militant Church for the governance of the Christendom, fighting against heresies and bringing those who are lost back to faith, utilizing the Spiritual Exercises, while committed to take care of those least among us. 

By the time he died on July 31, 1556, the Jesuits grew to about 1,000 men out of the seven men who took a private vow in 1534. This certainly makes Ignatius a fisher of men (i.e. Luke 5:11). With his companions in the Jesuits, Ignatius, is certainly one of the fishers of men (Matthew 4:19; Mark 1:17).

Ignatius was “cannonized” on May 20, 1521, at the Battle of Pamplona, marking the beginning of his journey of conversion and spiritual growth. And this spiritual journey from a life of sin took him to the sainthood, as he was canonized on March 12, 1622, by Pope Gregory XV, together with Francis Xavier, Philip Neri, and Teresa of Ávila. 

The life of St. Ignatius of Loyola is a good example of what these words of St. Paul can mean:

The one who searches hearts knows what is the intention of the Spirit, because it intercedes for the holy ones according to God’s will. We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, so that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined he also called; and those he called he also justified; and those he justified he also glorified (Romans 8:27-30).

St. Ignatius was certainly one whom Christ saw the interior of his heart and called him to seek God’s will on him through the “cannonization” on May 20, 1521. Certainly, Mary the Blessed Virgin, helped him turn his heart to her Son, Jesus, as she appeared in his vision with the Son during his convalescence from the “cannonization”. So he began to journey away from a life of sin to holiness. 

After he left his home of comfort in Loyola to embark on this journey , he also stripped his life of pride and wealth symbolically as he surrendered his sword to Mary,  leaving it before the statue of la Santa Maria de Montserrat, realizing that he was no longer an earthly knight but on his way to serve as a knight for Christ the King for his Kingdom. He was able to sustain himself by the grace of God during the period of desolation in Manresa. Though he practiced extreme asceticism to purify himself, he did not slip to a dualistic heretical spiritualism, like Manichaeism. He emerged out of the period of spiritual crises with the illumination to find God in all things in the Creation. This was, indeed, the post-desolation consolation. However, this did not make his life a smooth sail at all. 

Though he thought to live in the Holy City to complete his journey toward holiness, Ignatius was rejected in Jerusalem, forced to “recalculate” his direction. So he began his formal education upon returning to Spain. But, it was full of challenges, as he was troubled by the inquisition twice. But this let him further “recalculate” his direction of the journey and took him to the University of Paris, where he found invaluable “treasures” , completing necessary education for his vocational calling and life-long companions. Otherwise, how else could this once-sinner of Basque found the Jesuits and be canonized? 

None of his life experiences since his birth in 1491 to his death in 1556 was an accident. Not a coincidence. As St. Thomas Aquinas argues in Summa Theologiae (Prima Pars, Question 22, Article 4), bits and pieces of Ignatius’ life experiences were rather contingencies to the necessity of God’s will, directed by His providence. The Ignatian motto, “Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam”, indeed, reflects this truth. 

Yes, through thse contingencies that Ignatius experienced in his life, God worked for the good of those who love Him had have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28) , which is what St. Thomas Aquinas sees as necessity. 

This year, 2026, marks the 470th memorial anniversary of St. Ignatius of Loyola! 

St. Ignatius of Loyola, help us keep enduring zeal as you have! 

”急に具合が悪くなる“という現象は偶然か必然か？ 九鬼とヘーゲルの哲学と確率論でもって考える

 前回のブログ記事（”かもしれない”という理不尽な偶然を理に適った必然に変えていく生き方　－哲学者、宮野真生子さんの生き方から学ぶ）で哲学者、宮野真生子さん、と文化人類学者、磯野真穂さん、のメール書簡のやりとりを編集した、“急に具合が悪くなる“という本について触れました。この本にある宮野さんと磯野さんのメールのやりとりから、宮野さんが乳がんとどう闘病しながら宮野さんらしく生き抜いたかが浮かび上がってきます。がんが転移してから医師から”急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない“と言われたことに対し、宮野さんはそれをどう受け止め、それに対し、どう意思決定し、息を引き取られるまで自分にできることをやり通したかというところが注目したいところです。前回の記事で、私はこうした宮野さんの”急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない“という医師からの”警告“への対応を森田療法的な現実の受け入れ、そして、この受け入れた現実（医師から”急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない“と言われたこと）を認知行動療法的に建設的な方向へ認識し直すことで、この現実が宮野さんの人生の質（Quality of Life：QOL）を損なう一因とさせることなく、精一杯宮野さんらしく生き抜くことができたのか考察してみました。その際、宮野さんの研究の根底にある九鬼周造が論じた偶然と必然にも少し触れました。私はここで、宮野さんは”急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない“という人生の質を損ないかねないことを不条理な偶然だととらえ、”自分は不幸だ“という考えに陥る確率があるが、そうではなく、森田療法や認知行動療法に沿った対応をしたので、自分は不幸ではなく不運であったのであると認識することができ、それ故、人生の質を損なわずに生き抜かれたのだと考えました。そして、これは不条理な偶然と思われる事象を森田療法的に受け入れ、認知行動療法的に認識し直すことで理に適った必然にすることができると結論付けました。

さて、今回のこの記事では少し偶然と必然というテーマを軸に“急に具合が悪くなる”という事象について確率論的に考察したいと思います。

では、急に具合が悪くなる、という現象は偶然なのでしょうか、それとも、必然なのでしょうか？

それはケースバイケース、であってこうした問いに一般論的に白黒を判別するように明確に答えられないというのが臨床家の見解でしょう。これに対し、何で医師ははっきりと偶然か必然か答えられないのか？、と思う方もいることでしょう。”私は助かるのでしょうか？“と患者さんから問われた医師が自分では”助かる“と信じていても”ええ、心配なさらないでください。助かりますよ“と言わない場合があるのと同じことです。

ウイリアムオスラー卿（Sir William Osler）は、“Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability”、という名言を残しています。つまり、医学、医療、というのは不確実性の科学であり確率論でもって対処する術である、ということです。このことは、医療において明確にこうだといえるものはないということであり常に不確実性がつきまということを示唆しています。だから、医学研究や医療の臨床に携わる者は皆この教えを肝に銘じていなければなりません。この教えは、２００４年のテレビドラマ、白い巨塔（山崎豊子原作）、において大河内病理学教授が里見第一内科助教授に言った、“里見君、医療に絶対はない、だから医者は悩み続けなければならない。君の苦悩を、私は支持するよ”、という言葉にも反映されていると思えます。

医療において、偶然なのか必然なのかということだけでなく何事も明確にしたいという願望は理解できます。しかし、ここには対極的思考、二元論的思考、がもたらしかねない問題が潜んでいます。もし、この問題に陥れば、“なんでこんなことになったのだ！そうならないって言ってたじゃないか‘、というような結末になることがあるからです。

先ず、何事も明確に判別したいという願望への注意として、この明確の分別が偶然か必然かということに絞ってみましょう。

実は、個々の現象について偶然なのか、必然なのか、議論することはヘーゲルや九鬼周造の考えに照らし合わせれば不毛だといえます。なぜならば、ヘーゲルも九鬼も必然と偶然は対極的なものではないととらえているからです。特に、ヘーゲルはWissenschaft der Logik（科学の論理学）において、瞬時では偶然であっても、これらの偶然は必然へとつながるものだ、と論じています。ちょっと考えを飛躍させて連続性のある変化し続ける事象を関数に例えるなら、その関数を微分したもの、つまり、個々の微分値は偶然のようなものであり、その関数を積分していくとそれぞれの偶然を通して何等かの必然性が浮かび上がるとイメージできるのではないでしょうか。高校の数学で微分と積分は切り離すことはできないということを覚えているでしょうか？これと同様、偶然と必然は対極的に切り離せないものなのです。だから、ある特定の一つの事象がそれが偶然なのか必然なのか、その時点では確実にわからないわけです。ある確実性をもって偶然か必然か議論するのであれば、積分的、大局的、な視点でその事象がどう変化していくのかを追っていかねばなりません。だからオスラーは前述したように論じたのだと思います。

オスラーは医療における不確実性にどう臨床的に対応するかについて確率論をうまく活用できる技を磨けというように医学生や医師達に教えました。この教えは医師に限ったものではなく、臨床に携わる者すべてにいえるものです。私のようなカウンセリング心理学や臨床牧会神学を専門とする者にとってもです。

それではここから、確率論でもって偶然と必然について考えてみましょう。

不確実性の普遍的存在は統計学を履修した方ならよくお分かりだと思います。なぜならば、１００％の信頼区間（０％の偶然性）を持つデータエビデンス、つまり、１００％の確証でもって仮説を指示できるだけのエビデンスがあるということは現実的にあり得ないからです。

私が専門の一つとする行動科学の代表的なものである心理学の研究ではその統計的データは一般的に９５％の信頼区間、つまり、５％の有意水準、でもって”正しいといえる“としますが、医学や薬学においてはこの基準が更に厳しく、９９％以上の信頼区間、つまり１％以下の有意水準、にされていることもあります。とはいえ、研究結果がまったくの０％の確率でもってそれが偶然性によるものだと明示できる、つまり、０％の有意水準、１００％の信頼区間、でもって議論できるものは自然科学にせよ社会科学にせよ、行動科学にせよ、科学研究の現実においてありません。それ故、科学というパラダイムにおいて、エビデンスの過信は危険をはらみ、そもそも、科学で完全に証明できるものなんぞ何もないからです。科学によってわかることはすべて確率論的に認識できる事実であって、単に、確率的な“多数意見”といっていいでしょう。それを数値化した指標が信頼区間です。よって、科学で”確実、あるいは、必然的、と示されることは常に、その時点では認識できない何らかの不確実性をはらんでいるのです。統計学では、その度合いが有意水準という指標なのです。

ザックリ言うならば、科学の眼で見える現象は単に信頼区間の確率的な必然であって、常に、有意水準の確率的な偶然によるものかもしれないということです。言い換えれば、科学において１００％の必然性はないということです。だから、科学的エビデンスに基付く現在の医療において、前述したオスラーの教えは大切なのです。

例えば、たばこを吸うと肺がんになるという議論について考えてみると、現実的にみて、喫煙者すべてが肺がんになると１００％の確証でもっていえません。しかし、確かに、喫煙は肺がんのリスクとなることは、喫煙と肺がんの相関性を回帰分析で示せば明確にあぶりだせます。ただ、この相関性のうちどれ具合の確率で喫煙と肺がんの因果関係で占められているのかはケースバイケースだといえるでしょう。

だから、急に具合が悪くなる、という現象もある程度の必然性とある程度の偶然性を同時に持っており、それらがどれぐらいの確率を占めているのか、その人の体質、既往症、時と場合、などの様々な因子によって変わってくるのだといえます。これは、シュレディンガーの猫の実験からいえる量子力学にある重ね合わせの確率的理論のようなニュアンスがあると思います。放射性元素が既に崩壊しているという確率とまだそうでないという確率が同時に重ね合わせに存在していることを、箱の中の猫は死んでいる確率と生きている確率を重ね合わせており、実際に生きているのかしんでいるのかは、一定時間後に箱をあけてみないとわからないというものです。

人間誰でもその約３７兆個もの細胞のうち毎日数千個が突然変異しがん化する方向へ向かっていると言われています。しかし、免疫機能によってこうした異常細胞は取り除かれ、これらが集まってがんの病巣をつくるまで至らないわけです。しかし、実際、異常細胞の増殖が免疫による処理能力を超えれば、がん化することになってしまいます。

人間の体はシュレーディンガーの猫を入れた箱のようなものです。外から見て、箱の中の猫が生きているか、箱の中に仕掛けられた放射性物資の崩壊によるエネルギーで毒ガスが箱の中に入れこまれ猫が死んでいるのか、わかりません。だから、実際に箱を開けてみるまでは、猫が生きている確率と死んでいる確率は重ね合わせであると議論します。人間の体も外からではがんが存在する確率そうでない確率が重ね合わさっており、その時その時、この重ね合わせの確率が連続的に変化するものだと考えられます。外から見ただけでは、がんなのかそうでないのか”線引き“、つまり、区別がつきません。分子生物学的に、前者が後者を上回れば、体内でがんが成長しはじめやがて様々な症状をひきおこし、体を開けてみなくてもわかるようになってきます。

ただ、何らかの持病や既往症があれば急に具合が悪くなる確率がそうでない人より高くなると想定され、その必然性の確率も偶然性に比べて高いこともあるかもしれません。それ以外のことは科学的に解明できないといえると思います。

それでは、偶然と必然は重ね合わせで存在するのでしょうか？

九鬼周造の”偶然性の問題“によれば、シュレーディンガーが示す重ね合わせの量子力学理論のように、あり得るといえます。九鬼周造は偶然と必然は表裏一体だととらえているからです。ただ、厳密に言えば、シュレーディンガーの量子力学的な重ね合わせは表裏一体と必ずしも同じだと言えませんが。とはいえ、前述したように微分と積分がそうであるように、偶然と必然は切り離せないのでこれらが重ね合わせのようであり、また、表裏一体的に共存していると言えるでしょう。それ故、偶然は必然となり得、また、その逆も然り。ここが宮野さんの大きな研究テーマの九鬼哲学にある偶然性の問題の面白さだといえましょう。

しかし、そうだからこそでしょうか、宮野さんも磯野さんも医療の現場での様々な臨床事象をただ数値化し確率論で議論することで線引き分別することに異議を申し立てています。これは、オスラーが説く、医療とは確率論で対処するという教えについて、どう確率論で対処すべきかを示唆してくれるのではないでしょうか。お二人の現在の医療に対するこの批判は、確率論の間違った応用だといえます。私が思うには、宮野さんと磯野さんは確率論を医療における線引き選別の道具として使うなと主張されていると思います。また、お二人は社会における線引きによる様々な問題を指摘しています。

必然と偶然ははっきりと境界線を引いて分別できるものではありません。なぜならば、これらは重ね合わせ的、表裏一体的に常に共存するものであるからです。また、宮野さんと磯野さんが提議する医療における確率の扱いは、オスラーが説くことへの量子力学の重ね合わせ理論にも通ずる最適な答えであるといえます。

つまり、急に具合が悪くなるということは、明確に判別できない偶然と必然の確率的な表裏一体的とも考えられる重ね合わせであるといえるのではないでしょうか。

だから医学部の入試には必ず確率統計と量子力学の問題を盛り込むべきですね。

因みに、私が落ちた”浪速大学”医学部の物理の入試問題に放射性元素が一定の時間内に崩壊した際に放出された放射線エネルギー、つまり、放射能、の総量を求めよという問題がありました。対数関数の積分だということは分かるのですぐに式をたてて計算しはじめたのですが、途中で、数が何か変に複雑になってきたので見直してみたら計算間違いをしていたことに気付き、速攻で訂正にかかったのですが、試験終了のベルが鳴ってしまいました。そうでなければ、私は医師になっていたかもしれません。しかし、現在この確率は０ですね。医師になる確率と医師にならない確率が重ね合わせで存在していたのはこの量子力学的な物理の問題で致命的な失敗をするまででした。しかし確率をベースとする統計学に関しては、高校、大学、大学院、一貫してよくできたのではないかと思いますが。

”かもしれない”という理不尽な偶然を理に適った必然に変えていく生き方 －哲学者、宮野真生子さんの生き方から学ぶ

 冒頭から私事で恐縮ですが、還暦を迎えたからであろうか、最近、自分は死ぬかもしれない、という思いに駆られることが多い気がします。実は、今までもそうだったけど若さや忙しさのあまりそんなことに気にかけずに突っ走るように生きてきただけかもしれません。別に、還暦だから若い頃に比べ暇なことが多いというわけでもないですし。私のような出生コースから外れた落ちこぼれフーテン同様貧乏暇なしにとって定年退職という贅沢はありません。死ぬまで働いていかないと生きていけないからです。だから、若い頃と同じように生きることに精一杯ですが、なぜか、死ぬかもしれないう感にとらわれがちになる気がするようになったのです。

”死ぬかもしれない“と思い、感じていると、私の体を構成する約３７兆個もの細胞はそれらの染色体の先端にある分裂再生の為の”回数券“ともいえるテロメアがあとどれくらい残っているのだろう、なんて昔習った生物学を回顧しながら思うこともあります。人間の脳とはこうしたいたずらをするので”死ぬかもしれない“という感じはそう簡単に忙しさで覆いかぶせたりすることはできないようです。

確かに、６０歳ともなれば、確率的に死ぬ可能性は２５歳の頃に比して高くなることは必然だといえます。正直いって、すでに私の体ではガタがきている部分があります。だから、“やばい！故障しているかもしれない”と感じ、ここからの連動で、“死ぬかもしれない”に行きつく前に、“障害をもつようになり介護を要するようになるかもしれない”、“でもお金がないから介護なんて受けられないから苦悩のうちに死ぬかもしれない”、などと脳がどんどん負の連鎖のメッセージを送ってきます。このままだとストレスとなり血中コルチゾールが慢性的に高くなり、本当に心身ともに故障する確率をあげてしまいます。

では、どうすればいいのか？

ここで思いつくのが森田療法の根幹である不安を“あるがままに受け入れる”ということでそれによる心身的な症状を克服していくという知恵です。

体のあっちこっちが故障して自分らしく生きられず介護が必要になるかもしれない、そして、その先に、死ぬかもしれない、という不安をあるがままに、還暦となればこうしたことは寧ろ不思議なことではないと、受け入れることです。そして、ここで少し認知行動療法的に、受け入れた不安にたいする認識を別の視点からしてみることです。　例えば、孔子がいうように、６０となれば“耳従う”ことになっているので、加齢によって今まで以上の故障するリスクが高くなった体が故障を予言する兆候を見逃さないようにと、脳が今まで以上に”障害をもつようになるかもしれない“とか“死ぬかもしれない”という感じに駆らせるのだという認識による受け入れです。こうして、寧ろ、心身的にあり得る故障を未然に防ぐ為の警告的なメカニズムによるものだと割り切れば、死ぬかもしれないと感じるのは納得がいき、今まで以上に体からの声に耳を従わせようと思います。

実は、この“かもしれない”という感覚がもたらす不安については、哲学者、宮野真生子さん、と文化人類学者、磯野真穂さん、のメール書簡のやりとりを編集した、“急に具合が悪くなる”という本から学びえるものがあります。

メールを磯野さんに打っていた頃の宮野さんは乳がんと闘病中でした。がんと戦いながら大学で哲学を講じ学生達の研究を指導し、また、講演活動なども活発にされていました。こうして、がんと格闘しながら精力的に生きておられた宮野さんはある会合で文化人類学者の磯野さんと出会い、腹心の仲といえる友情でむすばれました。だから、いろいろなことを本音であるがままに言えるのです。この本にあるお二人のメールを読めばわかります。

磯野さんと出会った頃の宮野さんは、今の医療はかなり進歩しているのだから自分もがんを多くの患者のように克服できるという確信と希望を持っておらたようです。しかし、宮野さんのがんは着実に悪化していき転移してしまい、ある日、医師から“急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない”と言われました。これは、その頃の宮野さんのがんの状態を鑑みてのことで、毎日精力的に活動されている時に医師が発した警告なのです。

こうした医師の警告をうけて、宮野さんには選択肢がありました。急に具合が悪くなるかもしれないから、約束したことであってもこの講演会はキャンセルしたほうがいい、という選択。いや、そうだからといって急に具合が悪くならない可能性もあるのでこっちに賭けてみよう、といって講演会に行き、予定通り精力的に講演するという選択。

この本にある宮野さんと磯野さんのメールのやりとりの軌跡からもわかりますが、宮野さんは出会い、そして、そこから生まれる人間関係をとても大切にする方です。また、宮野さんは研究や学生教育だけでなく一般市民への啓蒙活動にも非常に情熱的な方で、講義でも講演でも、予定されていることを”急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない“からといってキャンセルできるでしょうか？

”急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない“、というのはある程度の確率をもった警告であり、宣告ではありません。本人がそれを自覚するかしないか、といった主観的なことに関わらず、客観的にみて何事にも一定の確率のリスクというものがあります。宮野さんはこうしたことを踏まえて、その時その時、自分は生きているんだ、今、自分はこの講義をする為に生きているんだ、今自分はこの講演をする為に生きているんだ、今自分は学生達やお集まりいただいた皆様と交流するために生きているんだ、として認識されていたと思います。これはまさに生きがいの実感ですね。生きがいがあるからこそ、”急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない“というリスクがあっても情熱的にその時その時を生き抜いておられたのだと思います。

人間は、“急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない”と医師に言われたら、もし“そうだったらどうしよう”と不安に感じます。神経学的にみて、人間が不安を感じるのはごく自然なことであり、それは長い進化の過程で恐竜や野獣のような外敵から身を守る為のアラームとして得たものです。解剖学的には、進化上、”古い脳“ともいわれる大脳辺縁帯にある偏桃体の働きによるものです。だから、人間の脳が偏桃体を持つ限り、私達は不安と向き合い続けなければなりません。しかし、この生物学的、心理学的、事実を必然として、森田療法の基本理論にあるように、あるがままに受け入れ、認知行動療法的に不安に対する認識を建設的なものへとすることで、不安によって人生の質を損なうことなく精一杯生き続けることができるのです。これは、”新しい脳“ともいわれる大脳皮質にある前頭葉、とりわけ、前頭前野、を活発に働かせることでなし得るのです。ここでは、大脳辺縁帯から送られてくる、不安を含めた、様々な感情を客観的、論理的、に処理、統制、することができるからです。だから、”かもしれない“という不安アラームが鳴ったからといって不安に翻弄されることなく、生活の質を崩すことなく行動していける意思決定ができるのです。それ故、たとえ、”かもしれない“という感じの原因、例えば、宮野さんの場合、がんの予期してなかった悪化による”急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない“、が理不尽であると感じても、前頭前野でうまく処理することで、より一層精一杯生きて行く力という理に適うものへと変えていくことができるわけです。宮野さんが特に情熱的に研究されていた哲学者、九鬼周造さんの考えに沿っていうならば、これは、”かもしれない“と感じさせる事象が偶然と思われていても、前頭前野でその認識を変えれば建設的な必然とすることができるといえます。このことは人間がその”新しい脳“故に人間らしく生きていける、ということを示すいい例ですね。これは不安は厄介者というよりも人間が人間らしく生きて行く力となる、という五木寛之さんの主張にも反映されているといえます。

“急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない”という医師からの警告への宮野さんの対応は、まさにこの理不尽な偶然を理に適った必然と認識し直すことで、不安に振り回されることなく情熱的に生き抜いていくことがでることを証明するものだと考えられます。勿論、これは”急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない“という医師の警告に対する無頓着な反応ではありません。これは前頭前野で総合的かつ客観的に情報処理された結果なのでこの医学的な警告が意味するリスクを考慮した上でのことです。こうした意志決断によって行動されたからこそ、宮野さんは”急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない“けれど、それによって生きることの質を損なわずに自分らしく精一杯活動を続けることができたのだといえます。不安によって人生の質を低下させるのではない、という以上に、寧ろ、不安をあるがままに受け入れ、受け入れた不安という現実に対する認識を建設的なものへと変えることで、不安をそれまで以上に精一杯情熱的に生きていこうとされたところに、宮野さんの生き方から学ぶところがあるのではないでしょうか。

医師からそう言われようがどうであれ、人間誰でも何かの機会に、理不尽にも偶然にも、“急に具合が悪くなるかもしれない”、いや、”死ぬかもしれない“と感じ不安に駆られることあるものです。これは、進化に照らし合わせ、脳神経学上、心理学上、人間が人間であるが故の必然だといえます。そして、これを”新しい脳“の目玉ともいえる前頭前野で、森田療法的、認知行動療法的、に処理することで、より人間らしく人生の質を更に高めるように生き抜いていくことができるわけです。宮野さんのがんと向き合う生き方はこれを証明してくれているのです。

Jesus Brings the Divine Mercy Through His Passion, Death, and Resurrection

Octave Sunday of Paschaltide, the Sunday after the Resurrection Sunday, is called the Divine Mercy Sunday, because it was Jesus’ expressed desire for his Church to solemnly cerebrate the Divine Mercy. He appeared and said to St. Maria Faustina Kowalska, in 1934:

I desire that the first Sunday after Easter be the Feast of Mercy (Diary of St. Faustina, 299).

In 1936, Jesus said to St. Faustina further more on the Divine Mercy Sunday:

I desire that the Feast of Mercy be a refuge and shelter for all souls, and especially for poor sinners. On that day the very depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the fount of My mercy. The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment. On that day all the divine floodgates through which grace flow are opened. Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet. My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or of angel, will be able to fathom it throughout all eternity. Everything that exists has come forth from the very depths of My most tender mercy. Every soul in its relation to Me will contemplate My love and mercy throughout eternity. The Feast of Mercy emerged from My very depths of tenderness. It is My desire that it be solemnly celebrated on the first Sunday after Easter. Mankind will not have peace until it turns to the Fount of My Mercy (ibid. 699).

On this Sunday, the risen Jesus invites us to his tender mercy, the Divine Mercy, as he did to his disciples on the night of his resurrection and to skeptical Thomas on the night of the Sunday after the resurrection Sunday, as described in the Gospel Reading (John 20:19-31). In appearing to the disciples, the risen Jesus did not ask the disciples why they ran away from him, abandoning him, upon his arrest on the night before his death after his agonizing prayer in Gethsemane (e.g. Matthew 26:50; cf. 26:31; cf. Zechariah 13:7; John 16:32). He did confront and address their weak faith and compromised loyalty. Rather, he offered peace twice (John 20:19). But as to remind of their sin – the sin of the world, which condemned him, the risen Jesus showed his hands, where nail marks were (John 20:25), and his side, where a deep wound of Roman soldier’s lance (John 19:34) (John 20:20a). Of course, showing his wounds in his risen body was not to press on the disciples’ guilt but to show that his resurrection was a reality. So they rejoiced, seeing the real Jesus being risen (John 20:20b). This is, indeed, how the Divine Mercy began to manifest through the risen Jesus and how it turned the disciples’ fear and doubt into peace and joy. Being the embodiment of the Divine Mercy, the peace that the rise Jesus offered was the peace that he had promised during the Lord’s Supper, instituting the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist:

Peace I leave you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid (John 14:27).

The risen Jesus offered his peace not just once but twice on the night of the day of his resurrection. When he offered peace for the second time, he was indicating the disciples’ apostolic mission upon receiving the Holy Spirit on Pentecost. So the rise Jesus said:

Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you (John 20:21).

Then he poured his breath upon the disciples (John 20:22) and said:

Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sin you retain are retained (John 20:23).

With the second offering of his peace, the risen Jesus poured the Holy Spirit through his gentle breath on the disciples to signal the coming of the powerful Holy Spirit on Pentecost (acts 2:1-4), after his ascension into heaven (Acts 1:6-9).. This reflects Jesus’ discourse on the Holy Spirit as another Parakletos during the Lord’s Supper on the night before his death (John 14:16-20, 26: 15:26-27; 16:5-16). Therefore, the risen Jesus’ offering of the Holy Spirit through his breath, along with his peace, to the disciples on that night was to foretell the disciples of their commissioning (Matthew 28:19-20//Mark 16:14-18; Luke 24:44-49).

It is also important to note that the risen Jesus also established the Sacrament of Reconciliation by giving the disciples the authority to forgive sins on his behalf, upon offering the Holy Spirit and peace (John 20:23).

In the first part of the Gospel Reading (John 20:19-23), we see the Divine Mercy manifested through the risen Jesus in his appearance to the disciples, who were hiding in fear, on the night of the day of his resurrection, and how the Divine Mercy was offered to them – through his peace and the Holy Spirit. Then, this Gospel narrative also describe how the Divine Mercy transformed not only the disciples fear and doubt into peace and joy but directed the disci0les’ life into a new one by foretelling of their apostolic commission and giving them the authority to administer the Sacrament of Reconciliation – to be sent out not only to testify the Divine Mercy but also to practice the Divine Mercy through their apostolic pastoral ministries, including taking care of sinners through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. 

The second part of the Gospel Reading (John 2:24-31) features how the Divine Mercy of the risen Jesus transformed skeptical Thomas into a disciple of firm faith (vv.24-29). Though he knew that Thomas would not believe without inspecting physical evidence of the resurrection by himself, Jesus did not rebuke him. Instead, he let Thomas do what he would need to believe – letting him use his finger and hands to examine the wound marks of Jesus’ risen body, to encourage him to believe (John 20:27). Then, Thomas immediately believed, saying, “My Lord and my God!”(John 20:28). This gives an example of how the Divine Mercy turns even stubborn doubt into strong belief. And the Divine Mercy allows the skeptics to examine thoroughly, if it is necessary for them to believe. The Divine Mercy does not criticize those who demand empirical evidence to believe. However, Jesus reminds that physical evidence is not necessary to believe. So he said to Thomas:

Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed (John 20:29). 

In the context of the Divine Mercy, this statement of the rise Jesus was not to say that Thomas was less blessed because he needed empirical evidence to believe. Rather, it is to encourage him to strive for being able to believe even without tangible evidence so that he would be more blessed. 

The above words of Jesus to Thomas about believing without seeing physical evidence (John 20:29) is a sign of a new life as a result of being benefitted from the Divine Mercy, according to the Second Reading (1 Peter 1:3-9). In this reading, Peter describes that the blessed God gives a new life to a living hope in His great mercy, namely the Divine Mercy through the resurrection of Jesus, the Son (1 Peter 1:3). A living hope is essential to believe – to have faith. In fact, faith (believing) is defined in relation to hope in this sentence:

Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).

It is not just hope but a living hope that matters, because it is what the Divine Mercy brings upon the resurrection of Jesus. Indeed, the Divine Mercy is also associated with the Holy Spirit to augment our hope as a living hope to fortify our faith. So Paul wrote:

For in hope we were saved. Now hope that sees for itself is not hope. For who hopes for what one sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance. In the same way, the Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit itself intercedes with inexpressible groanings. And the one who searches hearts knows what is the intention of the Spirit, because it intercedes for the holy ones according to God’s will (Romans 8:24-27).

As the Divine Mercy manifests with peace and the Holy Spirit (i.e. John 20:21-22), we can pray for the Holy Spirit to intercede for us to overcome our weakness in faith because our hope is too weak to believe without evidence. This way, we can endure our groanings with a living hope. 

What the Divine Mercy that comes upon Jesus’ resurrection brings is not only a new life of a living hope for eschatological salvation but to the imperishable and everlasting heavenly inheritance, safeguarded by the power of God and through our faith (1 Peter 1:4-6).  So we can rejoice over such benefits of the Divine Mercy through hope and faith even though we may have to endure trials to refine our faith’s genuiness for praise, honor, and glory of Jesus’ return at the eschaton (1 Peter 1:7-8). This shall lead us to salvation of our souls as we become able to believe and love Jesus even we do not see him in our naked eyes with an indescribable and glorious joy (1 Peter 1:8-9).

Now we know how the Divine Mercy can strengthen our faith in Jesus, hope for his Parousia to us, and our love for him, with joy, through peace, empowered by the Holy Spirit! 

The holy catholic (universal) apostolic Church was conceived on the night before his death by Jesus with his new commandment to love one another as he has loved (John 13:34), demonstrated by him washing the disciples’ feet (John 13:13-17), and with the institution of the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist (e.g. Luke 22:14-21). The Church before the resurrection was in her embryonic form. Then, it was transformed into a fetus form on the night of Jesus’ resurrection with the Divine Mercy, as the risen Jesus offered his peace and the Holy Spirit in his gentle breath to her, telling her to be sent out as the Father has sent him, and instituting the Sacrament of Reconciliation by giving the disciples the authority to forgive sins (John 20:19-23). This fetus form of the Church is to be born with the powerful Holy Spirit on Pentecost to give testimony of the Divine Mercy, serving as a refuge and a shelter of souls, especially for poor sinners. Indeed, the Church being a vehicle of the Divine Mercy on earth means serving as a field hospital for souls wounded by sins, as in Pope Francis’ ecclesiological view, and as a dispenser of the medicine of mercy, as Pope St. John XXIII described. 

In the First Reading (Acts 2:42-47), we see how the nascent Church was as a community fully endowed with the Divine Mercy. It was where everyone was devoted to Jesus’ teaching, passed on by the apostles and to a communal life of sharing bread by breaking it. Not to mention, they were all devoted to prayers and praising God with sincerity of their hearts.  In this newborn Church upon Pentecost, everyone is willing to share what they had with others. There was no one to act egocentrically. Thus, there was peace, harmony, and joy, giving thanks to God for His mercy. And this is well-reflected in the refrain of the Responsorial Psalm: 

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, and His love is everlasting (Psalm 118:1).

Here, His love is chesed in Hebrew. It also means mercy. There is another Hebrew word for mercy, rachem, derived from rechem, which means a womb. Compared to rachem, chesed as mercy refers to steadfast mercy, while rachem has more emotional connotation, as it often refers to compassionate mercy. By singing the above refrain, we acknowledge the Divine Mercy to be steadfast, therefore, it is everlasting. And we are so blessed to be beneficiaries of the Divine Mercy as the Church.  At the same time, we, as the Church, are ambassador of the Divine Mercy, taking care of souls wounded with sins, prescribing and dispensing the medicine of mercy, in a field hospital on the battle ground, as we fight against evil in the world. 

The Resurrection of the Incarnated Christ: Paschal Victory for Us to Do God’s Will on Mission

Christus resurrexit! Alleluiah! Christ is risen! Alleluia! 

This is the day that the Lord has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it! (Psalm 118:24)

This is the refrain of the Paschal Sunday responsorial Psalm to express our Paschal joy. 

Paschal Sunday is to celebrate the triumph of Christ, who sacrificed himself as Paschal Lamb, over death. So more words of this victory Psalm, Psalm 118, are sung:

The joyful shout of deliverance is heard in the tents of the righteous: “The Lord’s right hand works valiantly; the Lord’s right hand is raised; the Lord’s right hand works valiantly.” I shall not die but live and declare the deeds of the Lord (Psalm 118:15-17, vv 16-17 are sung for Paschal Sunday Mass)

The right hand of the Lord (Psalm 118:15-16) symbolizes the immeasurably mighty power of the Lord (cf. Isaiah 52: 10).  The Lord’s right hand is also known as His holy hand and sung as His victory in another Psalm:

Sing a new song to the Lord, for he has done marvelous deeds. His right hand and holy arm have won the victory. The Lord has made his victory known; has revealed his triumph in the sight of the nations, He has remembered his mercy and faithfulness toward the house of Israel. All the ends of the earth have seen the victory of our God (Psalm 98:1-3, sung on the 6th Sunday of Paschaltide, Cycle B)

The Resurrection of the incarnated Christ, Jesus, on the third day from his death on the Cross, is the Paschal victory (i.e. Acts 2:24; 1 Corinthians 15:50-58; 2 Timothy 1:10; cf. Revelation 5:5-13). It shows the power of the right and holy arm of God Almighty (אֵל שַׁדַּי, El Shaddai). As reflected in Paschal proclamation, also known as the Exultet, this is what God’s constant salvific work throughout history has culminated. And the seven Old Testament readings (Genesis 1:1-2:2; Genesis 22:1-18; Genesis 22:1-18; Exodus 14:15-15:1; Isaiah 54:5-14; Isaiah 54:5-14; Isaiah 55:1-11; Baruch 3:9-15, 32-4:4; Ezekiel 36:16-17a, 18-28)  of Paschal Vigil Mass reflect how God has been working for us and our salvation ever since the Creation out of His חסד “chesed”, steadfast love. Thus, together with Exultet, these seven readings, are juxtaposable to Pesach Haggadah, as it recalls and retells how God delivered His people from slavery in Egypt, through Passover and crossing the Red Sea, In this sense, Paschal Vigil Mass is a grand celebration of how God’s salvific power has manifested through the incarnated Son, the Christ, as the victorious Paschal Lamb, fulfilling the prophesy in the fourth servant song (Isaiah 52:13-53:12). Indeed, Paschal Vigil Mass is Christian Pesach (Passover). 

As Passover cannot be observed and the Israelites could have not been saved without slaughtering an unblemished lamb as korban Pesach (Exodus 12:3-14), Jesus, the incarnated Christ the Son of God, died on the Cross as the Passover Lamb of God (i.e. John 1:29; 19:14-42), so that his previous blood, the new covenant, can save us. The resurrection, therefore, validates (i.e. 1 Corinthians15:12-19) the saving power of his blood (i.e. 1 Peter 1:18-19). And through his blood, we have become beneficiaries of the new eternal covenant (Luke 22:20; 1 Corinthians 11:25; cf. Jeremiahs 31:31-34). 

Upon the establishment of the New Covenant through the blood of Christ shed on the Cross, confirmed and validated with his Resurrection, not only we are saved but called to do God’s will. So it is written:

May the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great shepherd of the sheep by the blood of the eternal covenant, Jesus our Lord, furnish you with all that is good, that you may do his will. May he carry out in you what is pleasing to him through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen (Hebrews 13:20-21). 

Christ the risen Paschal Lamb is, indeed, the great shepherd (Hebrews 13:20), the Good Shepherd (John 10:11, 14), who is now leading us to Galilee (Matthew 28:10; cf. 26:32) in order to complete the preparation for our apostolic commission to do God’s will (i.e. Matthew 28:18-20). Of course, to us, Galilee is not the geographical Galilee but the basics of Christ’s teaching, as it is where he began (Matthew 4:12-25). Then, we will receive the Holy Spirit in Jerusalem on Pentecost (Acts 1:4-11; 2:1-13; cf. John 14:15-31; 16:5-16) to conclude Paschaltide, after the risen Christ ascends into heaven from the Mount of Olives (i.e. Luke 24:50-53; cf. 19:29).  Here, as Galilee is so, Jerusalem and the Mount of Olives are figurative. It means that we go back to Galilee, where Jesus laid the foundation of his salvific ministry, bringing it to Jerusalem, before walking to Calvary to offer up himself on the Cross as the Paschal Lamb. When we move from Galilee to Jerusalem with the risen Christ, he will commission us before his ascension on the Mount Olive. Then, we will stay in Jerusalem until the Holy Spirit descends upon us. As we make this post-Resurrection journey with the risen Christ from Galilee to Jerusalem for the first 40 days of Paschaltide, we go over his teaching to make sure we understand, as the two disciples did when they walked to Emmaus with the risen Christ (Luke 24:13-32). With firm understanding of Christ and his teaching, we are ready to send him off to the Father in heaven and receive the powerful Holy Spirit be sent.

Now withthe  Paschal Victory, we return to Galilee with the risen Christ and journey to Jerusalem through Paschaltide to be ready for Pentecost, so that we will do the will of God on our respective apostolic missions with the gifts of the Holy Spirit.