Saturday, July 29, 2023

Thinking of My Friend, Martha, the Nurse, on the Memorial Feast of St. Martha, St. Mary, and St. Lazarus of Bethany

July 29 is the memorial feast of St. Martha, St. Mary, and St. Lazarus of Bethany. They are three siblings, who enjoyed sharing a fellowship with Jesus.

On this feast, I think of my friend, Martha, in reflecting on the Scripture Readings (First Reading: 1 John 4:7-16; Gospel Reading: John 11:19-27 or Luke 10:38:42).

I worked with her when she was a social worker, and I was a psychotherapist, caring for abused and neglected children. Afterward, both she and I took up new challenges respectively, as she studied nursing and I studied pastoral theology.

Martha is an RN, working fulltime in a hospital now. She works long hours, caring for many patients with various health issues.  For her, as a nurse, the hospital where she works is like a guest house. So before taking care of patients with her clinical skills, she first provides best possible hospitality for each patient. In fact, the world, “hospital”, etymologically means “a place of hospitality”, more like a shelter with hospitality. Therefore, in a hospital, patients enjoy the care of the host, a group of dedicated nurses, like my friend, Martha.

Making sure that all patients’ needs are met, my friend, Martha, works tirelessly for many hours out of compassion. And this really makes her, Martha, as St. Martha of Bethany is the one who shows hospitality to her family friend, Jesus, and worked hard in waiting on tables, going in and out of the kitchen, when he visits her place. And St. Martha is a firm believer that Jesus is the Messiah, who can raise the dead to life (John 11:23-27). But St. Martha has one problem, and it is the fact that she let her busy work rob herself of an opportunity to sit down in front of Jesus and listen to him. On the other hand, her sister, St. Mary of Bethany, does not seem to show hospitality as St. Martha does, but she keeps a good company for the friend, Jesus, while St. Martha is running around between the kitchen and the tables. Then, St. Martha felt that her sister, St. Mary, should come and help her. So. St. Martha interrupted Jesus, who was speaking to St. Mary, and asked him to tell her sister, St. Mary, to help her. In response, Jesus said:

Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her (Luke 10:41-42).

Jesus gently reminds her that it is better to listen first to him as her sister is doing. He is telling that serving a guest with hospitality is not all about serving food on the tables. So Jesus rather wants St. Martha to join her sister, St. Mary, to listen to him.

This is a reminder to us of what is now known as a lost art of listening. It is called “lost” today because we are too busy to listen to each other. And this is to call us to be genuinely present to another person, because we are busy acting with and for other people but hardly spending enough time to be present to another person. This is what all clinical professionals, including nurses and physicians, need to take it to heart. Patient care is not all about taking vitals and administering drugs and performing other clinical procedures. First and foremost, clinicians must be genuinely present with their beings. And good listening is practiced in this context of being present to a patient.

In hospitals, physicians and nurses are too overwhelmed with the huge volume of patient loads. Their dense schedules do not allow them to sit down with each patient and listen to him or her as they want. But I know my friend Martha manages to listen to each patient she comes to contact with. She has cultivated and demonstrated sound listening skills as a social worker before she became a nurse. This I know, because I worked as a psychotherapist for the cases that Martha referred to. And my clients always told me that they really like Martha as their social worker because she really listens to them in a way that nobody else does.

Whether it is social work or psychology or nursing, what is most important in clinical service is rapport. There is nothing more important than this in any type of therapeutic relationship. All the sophisticated clinical skills and credentials are secondary to this. So, I know that my friend Martha remains to be a good listener to each patient she cares no matter how overwhelming her patient load may get.

My friend Martha, therefore, is more than Martha, because, in fact, she is combination of St. Martha and St. Mary.

St. Martha is also a vocal advocate of her brother, St. Lazarus.

When St. Lazarus’ life was in danger, it was St. Martha, who sent a messenger to Jesus, asking him to rush to her house to take care of her brother, St. Lazarus.

Jesus could have rushed but he waited to visit her house until St. Lazarus dies. It was not that he did not care about his friend, St. Lazarus, as much as his sister, St. Martha does. But it was to let the power of God’s love manifest in raising St. Lazarus from the dead.

When Jesus finally went to the house of St. Martha, St. Mary, and St. Lazarus, he was already dead for four days. Both St. Martha and St. Mary were rather upset with Jesus for his delay. But, as always, it was St. Martha who came out of the house to meet Jesus to show her trade-mark hospitality.

This is St. Martha at her best, being hospitable, skilled in practical services, and a passionate advocate for a person she loves.

My friend Martha has all of these best qualities of both St. Martha and St. Mary, as she is not only a hospitable and skilled hard-working nurse but also a naturally a good listener and a compassionate advocate for patients. I know Martha’s effective advocacy skills from the time when she worked as a social worker. She was a trusted advocate of her clients. And I am sure that she is a compassionate advocate for her patients to ensure that all their needs are met not only during their stay in the hospital but even after discharge.

What about you?

Do you also possess the best of St. Martha and the best of St. Mary?

If Martha and I are to work together on the same clinical team, not as a social worker and a psychotherapist, as in the past but as a nurse and as a chaplain at the same hospital ward, she and I will make sure that we have firm rapport with each guest (patient) under our care through our genuine hospitality. As we are Roman Catholic, our hospitality is enriched in the context of the fellowship of Christ’s love.

Pope Francis sees the Church as a field hospital.

With this Pope’s ecclesiological vision, we can view a Catholic hospital as a place of Christ’s fellowship, which is about love, because God is love. And through love, we know God, Christ, the greatest physician. And, as the faithful followers and co-workers of Christ, we serve as nurses under this greatest physician’s direction for our guests, called, patients.  Like my friend, Martha, the nurse, this means that we need to be the best of both St. Martha and St. Mary of Bethany.


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