St. Monica, the Mother of St. Augustine: Mother’s Love to Let Christ Raise Her Son from the Dead in Sin to Life in Christ

When you think of or reflect on St. Monica, the mother of St. Augustine of Hippo, what are some words that come to your mind about her?

Perhaps, “faithfulness”, “patience”, “hopeful”, and “loving”, just to list a few.      

Monica’s life was really of self-giving love, ἀγάπη (agape), which enables her to be patient ,μακροθυμεῖ (macrothumei), in a way to endure bearing suffering for the sake of loving another person (1 Corinthians 13:4). And the direct beneficiaries of Monica’s agape were Patricius, her husband, and Augustine, her son.

Patricius was pagan and known for his temper and unchaste tendency. Monica’s marriage to him was arranged. He sure was not an ideal husband (i.e. Ephesians 5:25-33), as he was rather abusive to her, and so was his mother, Monica’s mother-in-law.  In such an extremely stressful marriage, what kept Monica in peace was her steadfast faith in Christ. As faith is a gift of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:9), she was always filled with this divine Spirit. Because of this, Monica did not argue and fight with her husband and mother-in-law. Instead, she persistently responded to her husband’s flaring temper and her mother-in-law’s bullies with love. Because she found the source of love in God, her love for the husband and the mother-in-law remained inexhaustible. Eventually, both of them had their hearts converted to Christ and found peace not only in themselves but in their relationship with God and Monica. It was through Monica’s unwavering love, which enabled her to forgive their offenses, expressed through her unceasing prayer and patience.

Monica had another “headache” in her life, and it was about her oldest son, Augustine. This first-born son of Monica and Patricius drifted away from a virtuous life style that Monica desired. In the meantime, she became a widow, and Augustine went away to Carthage for his formal education in rhetoric and to Rome to teach.  Upon her husband’s death, Monica’s fear of losing Augustine must have been aggravated, as he went away not only from her physically but in terms of the faith that she shared with. As his mother, Monica wanted to make sure that Augustine’s soul would not end up with damnation for his libertine life with a concubine. Monica was desperate to fix her first-born son’s life, as he continue to live a life of sin and followed the Manichaean cult, which divinized satisfying sexual lust. Out of desperation, she sought St. Ambrose in Milan for his advice on“fixing” Augustine. To this, Ambrose advised her, as recalled by St. Augustine in his autobiography, “Confession”, chapter 12:

Let him alone a while. Only pray God for him, he will of himself by reading find what that error is, and how great its impiety.

Ambrose’s wise advice was not to mesh herself into the messy life of Augustine to “fix” him. Rather it was best to detach herself from him so that he would be alone with God, letting Him work on him in order to let him figure out his way out of vice and to God. Again, Monica had to distance herself from her beloved son for the sake of loving him. But, Ambrose sent her with these words, as Augustine recalled in “Confession” chapter 12:

Go thy ways and God bless thee, for it is not possible that the son of these tears should perish.

For Monica, Augustine was the son of many tears. And so many tears of Monica poured out for him because she had to endure more suffering for her beloved son, Augustine. To this, wise bishop of Milan, St. Ambrose, sent St. Monica away from St. Augustine with the above words of hope.

The Ambrose’s words of hope for Monica reflect these words of Jesus on the widow who fought the insolent judge with her perpetual pleas:

Will not God then secure the rights of his chosen ones who call out to him day and night? Will he be slow to answer them? I tell you, he will see to it that justice is done for them speedily. But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth? (Luke 18:7-8).

The Gospel Reading of the Memorial Feast of St. Monica (Luke 7:11-17) is about Jesus raising the only son of the widow from the dead as he was moved by compassion, upon seeing her tears. There is a juxtaposition of St. Monica’s tears on her first-born son, St. Augustine, to the tears of the widow, whose only son died. St. Monica cried as she found her beloved son, St. Augustine, dead to sin and heresy. She tried to bring him back to life in Christ. But, St. Ambrose advised her that it was not her to “raise” her son from his death to sin but Christ to do so. By distancing her from her “dead” son, St. Monica let Christ “raise” him to life of faith.

The First Reading (Ecclesiastics 26:1-4,13-16) reflects St. Monica’s marriage to Patricius. He was blessed to have a gracious wife, St. Monica, as her gift of love transformed him to a new life in Christ through conversion.

St. Monica's steadfast agape won the souls of her husband, Patricius, and her mother-in-law. But did her agape save her first-born son, St. Augustine, from the grave danger of condemnation for his life of sin and heresy?  No, it was Christ, who saved St. Augustine by raising him, who was once dead to sin, to life in Christ. But it was St. Monica's love, expressed in many tears, that moved Christ out of compassion to save St. Augustine,

St. Monica inspires us to win our battles against wickedness and sin with steadfast agape (1 Corinthians 13:8), which is the superior factor in its integration with faith and hope (1 Corinthians 13:13). For this, we also need to know when to detach ourselves from an object of our love, as St. Ambrose advised St. Monica.