Easter 2013!

Happy Easter! Christ has risen, Alleluia! 

Easter Sunday marks the end of darkness, which represents our sinful life, and the fresh beginning of new light, which symbolizes our new life in Christ. As the darkness of night gave its way to the light of rising sun that breaks this Easter day, the darkness of our past sinful life was replaced with the new light of the risen Christ. This is the day that the Lord has made (Psalm 118:24) to as demarcation not only in Paschal Mystery but also our life. 

On this day, we wake up to become a new person in Christ, as the Lord has risen very early in the morning.  While we are now transformed, we have also left our past – our past sinful life style.

Do you recall God saying, “Remember not the events of the past”(Isaiah 43:18) from the 5^th Sunday of Lent first reading? 

 I explained that this is not meant that God want us to have amnesia about our past but rather not to be attached to and obsessed with our past, applying Buddhist wisdom.  If we had become attached to the past, we would not be able to move forward as such a condition would be like trying to drive a car while your left foot firmly pressing the brake pedal.  

Though we are moving forward with time – from the past to the present, further into the future, this journey of becoming a new person in Christ is actually “returning”. In saying “returning”, it may sound like going “backward”. But, I just indicated that Easter is about moving forward, leaving the past sinful life behind, as Jesus left his burial cloths in the empty tomb.

“Moving forward” and “returning” seem to be contradictory to each other. But, becoming a new person in Christ on Easter really means “returning” – returning to God.  This journey of us is a God’s desire

Remember, speaking of “returning”, I pointed out Dr. Jose DeMesa’s concept of “pagbabalik-loob” to explain conversion in connection with a prodigal son’s return home (Luke 15: 11-32) in my blog on March 8, 2013 ?  As the prodigal son returned to his merciful father, we , the believers, return to our merciful God for our conversion.

To return to God, we have turned the direction of our journey during Lent, from sinful temptations’ directions to God’s direction.  We have spent our Lenten period to recognize our past wrong direction, by repenting, and to turn our direction from sin to God so that we may experience Easter conversion. 

In repenting our past sin, which crucified Jesus,  and returning to God for His forgiveness and mercy, awaiting Christ’s resurrection with hope, we recalled these words of God during Easter vigil Mass:

 “I will take you away from among the nations, gather you from all the lands, and bring you back to your own soil. I will sprinkle clean water over you to make you clean; from all your impurities and from all your idols I will cleanse you. I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and tie you a heart of flesh. I will put my spirit within you so that you walk in my statutes, observe my ordinances, and keep them.” (Ezekiel 36:24-27)

The above words of God make it clear that God want us to be with Him and in Him. For this desire of God for us, in response to our sins and consequences of sins, we repent and realize our deep heart’s desire to be with God, again.  Thus, we turn our hearts from temptations back to God. Then, we begin journeying back to God to become a new person, by getting sprinkled with God’s clean water, to obtain a new pure heart.  For this, Jesus died and resurrected by leaving behind an empty tomb and burial cloths.

A corresponding hymn to the above reading from Ezekiel is Psalm 42. In this, we express our heart’s desire: As a deer longs for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, the living God. When can I enter and see the face of God?(vv. 2-3).

This segment from Psalm echoes the heart of repenting sinners, like the heart of a prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32.  Psalm 42 is a lamentation of the Israelites and a poetic expression of their longing to be delivered from enemy’s snare and to restore their relationship with God.

With such our desire to return to God, delivered from the snare of sins (Psalm 42: 2-3) , and God’s desire to have us back with him (Ezekiel 36:24-27), we make our “pagbabalik-loob”, conversion of our heart to God, turning our heart to God, as Jose DeMesa would say, by repenting.  Psychologically, this conversion journey of our heart from sin to God for us to be transformed on Easter echoes these words of St. Augustine of Hippo: My heart is restless until it rests you (God). 

In returning to God, while we move ahead by leaving our sinful past behind, as Jesus left his burial cloths in the tomb, we are making Eastern conversion to be transformed.  As the Jesus’ burial cloths signify his death, now so does our sins.  In order to pass over Holy Week Triduum into Easter, we have died with our sins. Now, we have left our sinful past behind to celebrate the day of Christ’s resurrection as we are transformed, with our heart find its restfulness in God, as Jesus has resurrected. 

If you have thought that Linus, who never let his dirty stinky blanket go, in Charles Schulz’s “Peanuts” cartoon, has some psychological problem, then, you can easily imagine that waking up on Easter morning with your old sinful habit is like Linus carrying his blanket, keeping the old yeast to contaminate the new dough. 

In the eyes of clinical psychology, Linus’ obstinate clinging to his dirty and stinky blanket is for his emotional security. It is a emotional security blanket for him as he does not seem to find peace of mind with anything else. This pathological pattern is very similar to how substance abusers find comfort in alcohol and drugs. From a stand point of developmental psychopathology, Linus’ blanket problem can be due to an attachment disorder. 

In the eyes of Paul, clinging problems like Linus’ attachment to his blanket, must be the inability to get rid of “old yeast”. In the Epistle reading for Easter Mass, Paul says, “Clear out the old yeast, so that you may become a fresh batch of dough, in as much as you are unleavened”(1 Corinthians 5:7). Here, the old yeast means our old sinful habit. Just as the old yeast can spoil the fresh batch of dough, our sinful old habits may corrupt our new life in the risen Christ. Thus, we must detach ourselves from and leave behind our own old yeast, old sinful habit, in the” tomb” we left.  

In observing the Pesach (Passover) festival, the Jewish folks get rid of all leaven breads out of their homes before only unleavened breads can be eaten during this festival, as said in Leviticus 23:6-8. Having any leavened bread is not kosher for Pesach.  Likewise, failure to get rid of “old yeast” – our past sinful life style, on Easter is not “kosher”, either.  In other words, our attachment to our past sinful habits and life style will not let us become “kosher” to celebrate Easter. 

Speaking of attachment, Buddhist wisdom is very helpful in overcoming its problem, which is perpetual restlessness, called kleshas(煩悩).  Of course, what Buddhist calls attachment is not the same as a healthy attachment process that a child forms with his primary caregiver, usually a biological mother.  John Bowlby’s attachment psychology theory considers that a child who has developed a healthy attachment process is less likely to be clinging and dependent because such a child is likely to be emotionally secure.

What is considered as clinging and dependent in psychology, are manifestations of the psychological state of insecurity in clinical psychology, which corresponds to what is considered as attachment, a significant contribution to kleshas in Buddhism. 

What St. Augustine calls “restless” means what Buddhism calls “kleshas”. While St. Augustine says a cure for restlessness is metanoia (turning our heart from sin to God) or ,to put it in DeMesa’s Filipino theology, pagbabalik-loob. In turning our heart to God, we sure do not need anything like Linus’ security blanket, our sinful habit from the past.  We must journey forward light as we travel without baggage from our sinful past. This is the way to journey into the Easter light of the rising and risen Christ. 

As Christ’s rising was like a sunrise, the Church has received the new light from the new Paschal Candle.  During Easter Vigil Mass, we pass and spread the candle lights to each other from the new Paschal Candle, the darkness has given its way to the new life of Christ.  This is a very important symbolic image to live our renewed Easter life because we now must pass the light of the risen Christ to each other as we reach out to one another.  The light of the risen Christ we pass on, like passing the candle light from the new Paschal Candle, is how we share God’s grace and our love with one another. This is to practice these words of Jesus, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you”(John 16:12), spoken during the Last Supper discourse. 

Let us now live with new life,  in the risen Christ’s light, like a new batch of fresh dough, passing the Christ’s light as we love one another!

Good Friday Reflection

On Good Friday, Christians fix their eyes and place the center of heart on the Cross. 

Good Friday is the day to commemorate the agonizing death of Jesus on the Cross. But, why such a day of horrible suffering, gory death and deep sorrow should be “good” and be called “Good Friday”? 

Pondering upon this question can lead us into the depth of Paschal Mystery, to our realization of Jesus as Paschal (Pesach) Lamb, as well as, Agnus Dei, to reconcile God and us. 

The Cross shall remind us not only the passion and death of Jesus but also what has come out of the foot of the Cross. In fact, where the outcome of the events leading to the Cross and the event on the Cross are leading us, is a very important to think reflectively. In this it is very important to put our own life experiences, especially involving in injustice, suffering, struggle and difficult death, upon the passion and death of Jesus.

As Fr. Michael Garanzini, S.J., President of Loyola University Chicago, pointed out during his Good Friday homily, the suffering and death of Jesus remind us of our need for grace to know sorrow and grace to know confusion, meditated during the third week of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. In fact, these two graces – grace for us to know sorrow and grace for us to know confusion – come from Jesus’ suffering and death. 

We have our own sorrows and confusions, involved in our sin and sufferings.  In response to our suffering and our own sinful actions, we experience sorrow and confusion. 

When we commit sins, our conscience puts us in regret, remorse and sorrow for those who are affected by our sins. But, sometimes, we find ourselves left in confusing dilemmas: “I know it was a bad thing to do and I am sorry”, and “But I still cannot think what else I could have done”. 

Now, these words of St. Ignatius of Loyola in the Spiritual Exercises help us reflect our need for grace for sorrow and grace for confusion, in experiencing the suffering and death of Jesus:

 “I ask for what I desire. Here it will be to ask for sorrow, regret, and confusion, because the Lord is going to his Passion for my sins” (SE no. 193).

Because it is not our desire to keep living our life in sorrow and confusion of our regrettable actions in the past, we seek grace to know our sorrows and grace to know our confusions in order to rise above – to transcend – our sorrows and confusions. 

In terms of sorrow and confusions about our regrettable acts…here is a very good reflection offered by Fr. Vincent Nagle, F.S. C. B., based on John 18:1-19:42 , Good Friday Gospel reading.

A woman is speaking about her abortion, about the terror she felt before the life within her.  About this life, despite its innocence, that threatened the world she had worked so hard to erect. Now, as she speaks years after the fact, she can easily acknowledge what she had done, but still cannot imagine how she could have done otherwise. The eruption of Jesus into the world is the same. As the procurator admits, “I find no guilt in him.” Nonetheless, fearing what might result from Jesus’ presence, Pilate “handed him over to them to be crucified.” Afterwards, he grimly has these words written down and placed above the innocent, dying Jesus:” Jesus the Nazorean, the Kind of the Jews.” He too knows his sin, but cannot imagine how not to do it. The logic of fear and power that controls Pilate exerts its pressure upon us as well. We cannot imagine how to resist. “If I cease to follow the world, “we think, “what will become of me?” Let us pray today to hear him on the cross as he says, “I thirst,” thirsting for him in turn. May our gratitude for him on his gory cross free us from our fear of our cross, so that by his wounds we might be healed. 

Merciful Father, you know that of ourselves we are helpless against Satan. Help raise our eyes to your Son hanging on the cross, and send us a scorching thirst for his presence.

From the Magnificat Lenten Companion 2013 book, p. 65

Fr. Garanzini reminded in his homily that we bring our heart, soul, together with our memories of suffering, sorrow, and confusion to the suffering and death of Jesus all the way to the Cross. It is also important to bring our memories of sufferings, sorrows, and confusions of those who are in isolation and marginalization. We can do this with our humility as our submission to suffering and dying Jesus all the way until he says, “It is finished”(John 19:30). This way, we are also submitting all our sufferings, sorrows, regrets and confusions to the Father, as Jesus totally submitted himself to his will through his suffering and death. 

As we memorialize the suffering and death of Jesus on Good Friday , while we bring up our own sorrows and confusions, we will transcend these as Jesus will transcend his suffering and death. 

When Jesus died, we also began to find grace of consolation emerging amidst grace for sorrow and grace for confusion at the foot of the Cross, as Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus took a good care of the body of Jesus. Also at the foot of the Cross, disciple John supported and comforted Mary in sorrow. 

As we bring our own sufferings, sorrows and confusions all the way to the Cross, while accompanying and staying with Jesus, we shall also find transcending grace to rise at the foot of the Cross. And, this transcending grace holds a very important key to deepen our understanding and appreciation of Paschal Mystery, especially in regard to Jesus’ passion and death just to commemorate Passover – as Paschal Lamb, as Agnus Dei. 

This transcending grace is what leads us to Easter. This grace rising out of the foot of the Cross is a window to our Easter hope, which fuels our conversion process – a process of turning our heart from sin to God, transforming our life from self-centered one to Christ-centered one. Therefore, though we are in sorrow and confusion, as Jesus have suffered and died because of our sins, we come to realize this transcending grace, which begins to remind of goodness of us in Christ. That is why it is called Good Friday. 

In these words of Blessed Peter Faber, there is no doubt that the faithful find this day to be good.

Jesus Christ, may your death be my life
and in your dying may I learn how to live.

May your struggles be my rest,
Your human weakness my courage,
Your embarrassment my honor,
Your passion my delight,
Your sadness my joy, in your humiliation may I be exalted.

In a word, may I find all my blessings in your trials.
 Amen.

Blessed Peter Faber, S.J. “From Death to Life”,   Hearts of Fire

To further reflect and contemplate on meaning of Good Friday, Peter Farber’s words certainly echoes with this Paul’s reflection of Christ’s words, 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Not to mention, the first six words in the Paul’s reflection, “My grace is sufficient for you” invoke St. Ignatius of Loyola’s Suscipe prayer in the Spiritual Exercises.  

“Receive, O Lord, all my liberty. Take my memory, my understanding, and my entire will. Whatsoever I have or hold, You have given me; I give it all back to You and surrender it wholly to be governed by your will. Give me only your love and your grace, and I am rich enough and ask for nothing more.” (SE, no. 234)

As St. Ignatius of Loyola did in this prayer, we can also ask the suffering Jesus to take our memories as well as anything else we have held up to this point, with him as he is about to submit himself completely to the Father to transcend suffering and death…to transform us.
 

In bringing our memories of sorrows, regreats and confusions to the suffering and death of Jesus, as pointed in Fr. Garanzini's homily, let us ask Jesus to take these with him from us and bring them to the Father as he submit himself to the Father, in completing his Messianic mission.

Pastoral Psychologist's Maundy Thursday Reflection

In entering into Truduum of Holy Week, I always think of many things, not only about the intensifying emotions of Jesus from Last Supper into Calvary, all the way to his last breath through his last words on the Cross, but also the disciples' psychospiritual problems. Then, I further reflect these to my own life, to sufferings and dying of people, whom I am privileged to witness with, pray with, listen to, treat, and minister to.

On Holy Thursday (Maundy Thursday), the Catholics get deep into the heart of Eucharistic anamnesis, as this is the day to commemorate Last Supper (Lord's Supper), through which Jesus instituted the Sacrament of Eucharist. As we sing “Ubi Caritas”(Live in Love of Charity), during the preparation of the alter…”Tantum Ergo”(Down in Adoration Falling) during the transfer of the most blessed Sacrament of Eucharist, we  become more aware of the depth of Christ’s love, expressed in this table fellowship style new covenant (mandatum novum- new mandate).

The new covenant that Jesus offered to his disciples, who were invited to share this special Passover (Pesah) dinner, can be summed up in these words, “Ubi caritas, et amor, ubi caritas, Deus ibi est”(Live in love of charity and steadfast love, live in love of charity as God will dwell with you). Through this new covenant of his own body and blood,  Jesus wants the disciples to live in love of self-giving as he has taught and is about to put himself through in his Passion.

Having this special Passover dinner and establishing the new covenant with the disciples was a very critical step to complete his mission on earth - to fulfill the Missianic prophesy from the Book of Isaiah, especially the prophecy on suffering Messianic servant in Isaiah 53.

Jesus must have been looking forward to this intimate table fellowship with his disciples,  as he said, "I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer,"(Luke 22:15). But, he was well aware of the suffering he would have to go through in order to complete his Messianic mission.

Imagine what it would be like to feel "hopeful anticipation" for an intimate hour with this disciples over special commemorative dinner of Passover, while feeling the indescribably complex and heavy fear and anxiety of his imminent suffering.

Throughout the dinner, Jesus remained calm - just as we do so when enjoying dinner. But, this is a very heavy calmness. In this heavy calmness, there are two opposing psychological forces crushing: hopeful anticipatory to share an intimate Passover dinner for establishing the Eucharistic covenant and rapidly building-up anxieties toward his suffering and death as they are becoming more imminent.

Imagine a cancer patient with a terminal condition. Let's say that this patient is a well-respected and sought master of his own teaching.  He was told that he could die in a day or so. Though he tries to compose himself, he is not quite at peace deep inside, because he feels he has one more thing he needs to accomplish before he would die. Clock ticks louder and louder as he thinks of this and becomes more eager to accomplish his last "mission". Then, an opportunity has arrived! His followers are visiting him in a bunch. He felt that he really could not afford to miss this chance to accomplish his last "mission", which is to pass his last piece of teaching to his students. Because he is always a great teacher to his students, he felt that he must maintain his composure in meeting with his students.

Just think of this master's psychological condition - how heavy it becomes as he holds both his desire to be with his students, his desire to accomplish his last mission to relieve his unsettled feelings toward his own death, and his ever increasing anxiety toward his own death, which is becoming more imminent.

Imagine if you had to go through a situation like this....though I am sure such thing is the last thing you wish for yourself.

In thinking of such heavy calmness.....Isn't this kind of heavy calmness we notice when someone, who is suffering, intentionally makes a positive outlook out of his or her concern for the people around him or her? This person does not want his or her own suffering to make the people around him or her to worry. But, it does not mean that this person has no desire for his or her friends to be concerned for him or her. 

Now, let's think of the disciples...

Even the disciples have noticed the tension in the air as Jesus began to tell, "And yet behold, the hand of the one who is to betray me is with me on the table"(Luke 22:21). Then,  they began to argue who such a betrayer would be, only to further argue who would be the greatest among the disciples.

When we were back in school...or some kind of a group setting, we were told that someone among us was causing a big trouble...then, remember how uneasy we felt and awkward we reacted?  That was a story of our gone days as we sure have grown since those days.

Psychologically, such disciples' behaviors in reaction to the Jesus' statement about the betrayer is more likely an indication of their nervousness. Out of their psychological awkwardness, the disciples did not know how to respond to Jesus’ statement about the betrayer. Thus, they started to find someone to blame…….someone to regard as the worst to make sure that they themselves would  not be blamed. Because of their psychological clumsiness, they began arguing who is better than anyone else, immediately after shifting blame of betrayal to each other.

Jesus, on his very last night, must have been so disappointed to see his disciples reacting to his statement about the betrayer in such an cowardly way, realizing that they have not yet matured enough psychologically and spiritually to follow this way and to continue his mission after he is gone.  His disappointment must be even greater because the disciples acted this way right after given the new covenant of the Eucharist.

I indicate the disciples’ reaction to the Jesus’ statement on betrayer during the supper as the disciples’ psychospiritual immaturity because such a behavioral response clearly indicates their own self-concern. None of the disciples demonstrated their concern for Jesus as now they realize the presence of betrayer. Instead, they began to arguing like a bunch of kids, shouting, “Hey, it’s not me, right? You know I ain’t a bad kid who would do such a thing, right?” Nobody ever said any word of concern for Jesus, like, “You must have been feeling so uneasy now. What can we do?”

Speaking of the disciples’ psychospiritual immaturity, it was also found in Peter’s response to Jesus’ offer of washing feet (John 13:1-15).


At first, it appears to be like Peter’s own stubbornness. Maybe some people think that Peter was trying to be humble by not accepting Jesus’ offer, as kindly declining someone’s offer is believed to be a sign of politeness in some culture, especially in East Asia. But, it is more like his own narcissistic protective shell that first declined the offer from Jesus. Narcissistic disposition within us not only makes it difficult to love someone but also makes it hard to accept love from another person as it is. Clinically speaking, narcissistic disposition indicates a problem with psychological growth, if it is found in an adult person. This psychological problem was found in Peter’s response to Jesus’ offer of washing feet. Not to mention, Jesus’ offer of washing his disciples’ feet is a demonstration of his love for them.

To go a bit deeper than the psychological level, Peter’s refusal to Jesus’ offer of washing feet can be understood as a behavioral manifestation of Peter’s lack of faith or disbelief. Thus, it is an indication of Peter’s spiritual immaturity.

Because of this spiritual immaturity, disbelief, Peter was not able to respond with humble “yes” to accept Jesus’ offer to wash his feet. Had he been spiritually mature enough…a man with strong mature faith, then, Peter would understand that Jesus’ offer of washing his feet is a part of Jesus’ new covenant with him, his commissioning of him, to be sacrificed for God’s will, as Jesus was to demonstrate soon after the supper.  If he his faith in Jesus were strong enough…Peter would have been able not only to accept but rather to fully embrace the covenant Jesus was offering – Jesus’ love of self-sacrificing charity for him and Jesus’ appointing of him to practice sacrificial love.  Jesus’ foot washing of his disciples is to show this nature of his covenant.  It’s a shame that Peter did not understand this…yet, at the very moment the offer was made by Jesus.

Still living with his immature, narcissistic disposition, Peter now immediately shows his excessive desire to receive Jesus’ love more than any other disciples by demanding Jesus to wash his whole body, once Jesus reminded that not accepting his offer of feet washing means taking no inheritance with him (John 13:8). Now it is clear that Peter’s narcissistic disposition was calculating for his own gain.

Peter refuses what is costly to him, such as Jesus’ offer of feet washing service, which would eventually put him to practice self-sacrifice. However, his narcissistic disposition quickly overcome his own reluctance to such a costly offer once he realized that the “cost” was worth in order to share Jesus’ heavenly inheritance. When it comes to his own personal gain, Peter wants his share more than any other fellow disciples. That is why Peter responded,  “Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well”(John 13:9).  Peter now wants a portion of Jesus’ inheritance as large as his whole body rather than a portion as tiny as his feet.

See how childish such a simple-minded-like response Peter demonstrates? Haven’t we sometimes respond to someone’s offer of self-sacrifice to us as Peter did to Jesus’ offer of feet washing service? Haven’t we respond like Peter because of our own anxiety and reluctance to putting ourselves to such a self-sacrifice service? This is an important question we ask ourselves in reflecting Maundy Thursday Gospel reading on Feet Washing.

As I said before, this Holy Day of commemorating Jesus’ establishment of the Sacrament of Eucharist through Last Supper is about “Ubi caritas, et amor, ubi caritas, Deus ibi est”(Live in love of charity and steadfast love, live in love of charity as God will dwell with you). To embrace what “Ubi Caritas” is about in Jesus’ Eucharistic mandatum novum(new covenant/mandate), we also must understand and embrace the meaning of feet washing. As we let Jesus wash our feet, not only that we are cleansed but also commissioned to serve each others in this humble fashion, even if it may demand self-sacrifice. We also must be clean to make ourselves worthy of making ourselves as sacrifice for the sake of love, caritas. 

Ubi caritas, et amor, ubi caritas, Deus ibi est”.