In his "The Enchiridion on Faith, Hope and Love", St. Augustine of Hippo discusses how the three theological virtues: faith, hope and love, are interrelated, echoing what St. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13. Because love is inseparable from faith, if faith without action is as meaningless as dead, then, love without action is also meaningless. Jesus' Parable of the Good Samaritan is a good example to illustrate this theological teaching on love.
Though action - work - is indispensable to make our love valid in light of the three theological virtue, what is really important yet often neglected or forgotten is the virtue of listening. In order to teach us that listening authenticates love, the Jesus' action in the Gospel reading for the 16th Sunday of Ordinary Time (Year C) (Luke 10:38-42) tells how listening can set the act of love in a right direction.
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In the Gospel story, Jesus visited the house of Martha and Mary (and their brother, Lazarus). It was Martha how came out and welcomed him. She kept herself busy serving Jesus - perhaps food and drinks. But, her sister, Mary was not helping Martha but simply sat with Jesus and enjoyed listening to his story.
Because Martha found herself to be the only one diligently working and working to serve Jesus, the house guest, she became frustrated over her sister, Mary. So, Martha tried to win Jesus' support by telling him, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me!".
Yes, Martha is whining! She is so-called "pissed"! Because, in her subjective eyes, her sister, Mary appeared "lazy" as she just sat and be with the guest.
You could have thought that Jesus would side with Martha - or at least he would show some sympathy for Martha, by telling Mary to help Martha. But, in the Gospel story, Jesus rather rebuked Martha.
" Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her", said Jesus, instead of telling Mary to help Martha.
So, why did Jesus was rather responding to Martha's frustration as if he would further fuel it, rather than appeasing it, by making a comment to sound like siding on Mary? Why did Jesus say that Mary has chosen the better part, indicating that Martha chose a worse part - though she was the one working so hard to serve Jesus?
On the surface, Martha is the one working. Martha seems to represent the faith demonstrated by action, reflecting the teaching of St. James. On the other hand, Mary appears to symbolize just the faith - the faith without action, which St. James could have said "dead faith".
Important teaching of this Gospel narrative goes beyond such a superficial view that we tend to have, based on our human ordinary experience. As I pointed out that Jesus' teaching does not necessarily fit in the dominant paradigm of social and behavioral sciences in my last blog entry on his teaching on the Good Samaritan, a very important teaching of this Gospel story does not reflects our typical view, which can see Martha, "hard working", to be justified and Mary, "lazy", to be rebuked.
In the Gospel story, Jesus responded to Martha's complaint about Mary in a way to support Mary, instead of Martha, to teach us the importance of listening.
Not in the Gospel narrative that Mary was LISTENING to Jesus (Luke 10:39). But, there is no indication that Martha listened to him.
Imagine you visited a psychiatrist.....and the psychiatrist welcomes you, smiling and shaking hands with you. But, just imagine - if this psychiatrist starts prescribing medicines after medicine, making himself/herself busy as you sit in his/her office. Now, how would that make you feel as a patient?
The psychiatrist may say, "Hey, I am just doing my best to help my patients! I am a doctor. I went to a med school. So, I know medicine! I know what medicine my patients need, and I know how to diagnose!"
Yes, the psychiatrist may say so rightfully. But, that's only from the psychiatrist's point of view.
How about the patient's perspective?!
As a patient, especially in psychiatry, what you would want first and foremost is to be listened with compassion.
When Jesus arrived to the house of Martha and Mary, Jesus could have felt that he wanted to be listened. He could have had a lot of stories to tell.
The Gospel story is also about hospitality.
Imagine how hospitable you could be if you had never took time to listen to our guests? Would your hospitality truly be appreciated by your guests if you had started serving and serving but never listened - because you were too busy to listen?
In the Gospel story, Martha was like the psychiatrist, who never listens to his/her patient but does "great" service with friendly smile by diligently giving you medicine. But, Martha obviously failed to meet Jesus' need at that time - thought she could have thought she was helping Jesus by serving food and drink.
On the other hand, Mary, appeared not as restless as Martha, listened to her guest, Jesus, while he seemed to have found her hospitality to be more suitable to his need, compared to Martha's restless service.
Perhaps, Jesus would have wanted to eat and drink after talking after talking and being listened. Then, guess who can serve him better?
I bet Mary can serve Jesus better without making her as restless as Martha was - because she listened to her guest first.
One important take-home point from this Gospel narrative is that action of love, act of charity and hospitality, may not be as good as it can be - if it is not preceded by good listening.
So, we must fist listen to a person we serve - getting to know what the person wants and need better. We cannot guess or assume his or her need. And, we cannot start serving with such an assumption. In order to authenticate our acts of love - first we must listen with compassion.
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The importance of listening is also found in Buddhist teaching. I found that the Sutra of the Medicine Buddha (the Sutra on Bhaisajya (薬師経)) emphasizes listening in the context of increasing mindfulness with all senses in order for better understanding. The below excerpts captures this.
若昔人中。曾聞世尊藥師琉璃光如來名號。 由此善因今復憶念至心歸依以佛神力衆苦解脱。諸根聰利智慧多聞。恒求勝法常遇善友 （薬師経 １－８）
"If you have heard the name of the World Honored Bhaisajya Lapis Lazuli Light Tathagata, and as a result of this good cause, now remember and take refuge in him wholeheartedly, they will be freed from all suffering , thanks to this Buddha’s spiritual powers. Their senses will be sharp and they will be learned and wise, constantly seeking the supreme teachings, and encounter good spiritual friends. They will forever break through Mara’s net, smash the shell of delusion, dry up the river of afflictions, and thus escape all the distress and suffering of birth, old age, illness, and death."
To put this Buddhist teaching in the context of Luke 10:38-42, it is obvious why Jesus said that Mary, the listener, has taken the better place. Mary must be listening to Jesus "with all her heart, with all her being, with all her strength, and with all her mind".
Michael P. Nicholas has written "The Lost Art of Listening - How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationship". This book talks about our innate needs and yearning to be understood through listening. The is a book can be read along with Luke 10:38-42, as well as the Sutra of the Medicine Buddha. Reading these assures that listening is an indispensable art of love, which build a relationship, heals and leads to salvation as taught both by Christ and Buddha.
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