How we should interpret “μισεῖ”(miseo) in Jesus' hyperbolic statement? - 23rd Sunday Year C Gospel Reading

In the Gospel reading for the 23^rd Sunday Year C, we find provocative words of Jesus.

“If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”  (Luke 14:26-27)

So, does it mean that Jesus was against the virtue of filial piety? Was Jesus anti-family? Was Jesus jealous of those who have families as he left his own family and had no family of his own? Was he also advocating to hate our own lives – hating ourselves? 

What did Jesus really mean by saying “hating your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even your own life”? 

This is a good example in the Bible to remind us that we must be careful in interpreting the scriptures, especially hyperbolic expressions (figures of speech), as well as symbolic expressions. 

The above quote is a hyperbolic expression of Jesus to make a strong point on the cost of discipleship, echoing the 12^th Sunday Gospel reading: Luke 9:18-24, especially vv. 23-24, and the 13^th Sunday Gospel reading: Luke 9:51-62, especially vv. 57-62:

If any man would come after me, let him den himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake he will save it (Luke 9:23-24).

As they were proceeding on their journey someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus answered him, “Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.” And to another he said, “Follow me.” But he replied, “[Lord,] let me go first and bury my father.” But he answered him, “Let the dead bury their dead. But you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” And another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but first let me say farewell to my family at home.” [To him] Jesus said, “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God.”(Luke 9:57-62).

While Luke 9:57-62 is about Jesus demanding those who wish to be his disciples to relinquish their desire and need to be involved in their own family affairs, Luke 9:23-24 speaks of Jesus’ desire for candidates of the discipleship to put Christ ahead of themselves (and their self-serving interests) to a point of not being held-back by self – in order to become martyrs. 

So, was Jesus telling those who were interested in becoming his disciple have to hate their own families and even their own lives?

If you just read the 23^rd Sunday Gospel reading (Luke 14:25-33) in connection with the 12^th Sunday Gospel reading (Luke 9:18-24) and the 13^th Sunday Gospel reading (Luke 9: 51-62), it helps you to understand that Jesus was not telling us to hate, as “despise” and “with enmity”, but used a strong word, which can be translated as “hate” to emphasize the importance of our absolute loyalty to him – the kind of loyalty over our love toward our own family members and our own lives. 

With this in mind, was Jesus making an anti-filial-piety statement by saying that we have to “hate” our parents in Luke 14:26?

Given that filial piety is addressed in the 4^th commandment of the Decalogue (Deuteronomy  5:16), it is hard to imagine that Jesus would make a statement contradictory to the teaching of the Father.   The commandment states: 

“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you”(Deuteronomy 5:16).

In fact, Jesus himself said, "For God said, 'Honor your father and mother,' and, 'He who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death'” (Matthew 15:4)! 

So, if Jesus were promoting anti-filial-piety through Luke 14: 26, then, he would have gone against the 4^th commandment of the Decalogue (Deuteronomy 5:16) and contradicted himself (Matthew 15:4). 

There is no way that Jesus intended to tell us that we have to hate our parents, spouses, siblings, and ourselves, in order to become his disciples.  Thus, Luke 14:26-27 is a hyperbolic expression, like Socrates’ famous statement: The unexamined life is not worth living, which was quoted in Plato’s “Apology”, a collection of Socrates’ statements during his trial. If you had literally interpreted this statement of Socrates, then, you would have thought that he was telling that we should die if we cannot examine our own lives. Of course, it is more like a satire kind of figure of speech to criticize the culture of complacency prevalent in Athens at that time.  Socrates must be thinking of “Know thyself”, inscribed in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. 

As Socrates made such a hyperbolic statement to challenge a lack of critical self-examination among his accusers, Jesus stated his point on the cost of the discipleship in an attention-grabbing and resonating way.

Then, why Jesus had to say, “hate”? 

When we encounter such puzzling phrases in the Bible, it is always a good practice to consult the original text of the Bible. That is, the Greek text for the New Testament, and the Hebrew text for the Old Testament. 

As the Gospel of Luke was originally written in Greek, I consulted the Greek text of the Gospel.

Eἴ τις ἔρχεται πρός με καὶ οὐ μισεῖ τὸν πατέρα ἑαυτοῦ καὶ τὴν μητέρα καὶ τὴν γυναῖκα καὶ τὰ τέκνα καὶ τοὺς ἀδελφοὺς καὶ τὰς ἀδελφάς, ἔτι τε καὶ τὴν ψυχὴν ἑαυτοῦ, οὐ δύναται εἶναί μου μαθητής.  (Luke 14:26)

The word that matters is “μισεῖ”(miseo), which is often translated as “to hate”.  But, decent Greek dictionaries also explains that this word also means “to love less”, in comparison to someone else.  Let’s look at the original Greek sentence with some direct translation to better discern Jesus’ intent and Luke’s intent to use the Greek word of “μισεῖ”(miseo) here.

Basically, the Greek text says – if you are to come toward me,

you are to love less (μισέω/miseo) the father (πατήρ/pater)

of yours, the mother (μήτηρ/meter)of yours, 

the wife(γυνή/gune)of yours, children (τέκνον/teknon) of yours,

 brother (ἀδελφός/adelphos) of yours, sister (ἀδελφή/adelphe)of yours, 

and breath of life (ψυχή/psuche) of yours, 

to be able (δύναμαi/dunamai)to be 

learner/disciple (μαθητής/mathetes) of me (ἐγώ/ego).

Basically, Jesus wants us to understand the seriousness of following his way as his disciples. The cost of the discipleship is heavy enough to put behind our love for our loved ones – parents, spouses, children, siblings, and our own lives, as well, so that we can fully devote ourselves to Christ. This way,  Jesus is reiterating the seriousness of the cost of the discipleship, upon talking about it in Luke 9:18-24( denying about our own lives and take up our own cross/ sacrificing our own lives – 12^th Sunday) and Luke 9:51-62 (immediate response by giving up our family obligations, not allowed to wait until we become free from family obligations – 13^th Sunday). 

When Jesus said, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must 

deny (ἀρνέομαι/arneomai) Himself (ἑαυτοῦ/ heautou) and take

 up his cross (ἀράτω τὸν σταυρὸν αὐτοῦ - lifting your own 

stake)  daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23), he does not mean to

advocate to trivialize our own lives. Rather, he wants us to 

understand that becoming disciples of Jesus could force us

to make a choice over Jesus, the one we follow, or our own 

lives. If this had become the case, then, Jesus expects us that 

we would choose Jesus over our own lives. This is what he 

meant by “deny himself”. 

In this context, interpreting “μισεῖ”(miseo) as “to hate” in a psychological sense of hatred or animosity reflects the all-or-nothing kind of dualism. Jesus and his teaching are never about dualistic thinking and infusing hatred. His statement of “μισεῖ”(miseo) is to expect us to love him more than our loved ones on earth, relatively speaking, to make our commitment to him absolutely firm. 

To become his disciples, Jesus certainly does not accept our lukewarm engagement. Rather, he demands our absolute loyalty. It does not mean dualism but it is a matter of priority in making a choice. It means that we must love Jesus more than our own parents, spouses, children, siblings, and even our own lives, in order to choose to be his disciples. That is why Jesus is asking us to love our parents, spouses, children, siblings, and our own lives, less, compared to loving Jesus. It is not that Jesus wants us to hate our own loved ones and our own lives. 

Perhaps, this hyperbolic Semitic speech of Jesus on his desire to love him more than our own loved ones to be his disciples can be compared to these words from the Book of Hagakure, a book of Bushido, the code of samurai: The Way of the Samurai is found in death. 

In my 6/25/13 blog (Costly Grace in Bushido-like the Christian Discipleship - A Reflection of the Scripture Reading on the 12th Sunday Year C), I explained that the Book of Hagakure and Bushido, the way of samurai, does not advocate death as a virtue for samurais – though those who misunderstand so often attribute their view to the above-cited sentence from the Book of Hagakure.

Those who myopically misunderstand take the sentence, “The Way of the Samurai is found in death” out of context, without reading the whole text to appreciate this Japanese hyperbolic expression. In fact, the Book of Hagakure points to the previous value of life, which is not to be trivialized and wasted at all.

Likewise, Jesus has his way of making a powerful point with his unique figure of speech, hyperbolic expression. 

Many East Asians, who have been influenced by the virtue of filial piety of Confucianism, tend to find the Gospel passage very difficult to accept.  But, as an East Asian myself, having studied Confucius philosophy in Japan, I must argue that what Jesus has teaches in the Gospel passage actually makes sense with Confucian teaching on loyalty to one’s lord (master) in feudalism.  In this, we must put our lord ahead of our own families. In Christianity, the lord is the Lord Jesus Christ.  As Confucius teaches to make absolute loyal commitment to a lord in feudalism,  Jesus tells those who wish to be his disciples to make such an absolute commitment to him, over their love of their own parents, spouses, children, siblings and even their own lives. This line of thinking I present here also helps us better understand the afore-mentioned hyperbolic expression of Bushido, too. 

So, it is now clear that Jesus is not telling us that we have to hate our own parents, spouses, children, siblings and our own lives, in order to be Jesus’ disciples. His hyperbolic statement in Luke 14:26-27 is to demand a samurai-like absolute self-less loyalty and Buddhist-like detachment from our earthly concerns, including our own families – more like pabbajja. When Buddhist seekers leave their beloved families, as Shakamuni Buddha did, it does not mean that they “hate” their families. It is to demonstrate that their priority is the Dharma – over their earthly matters, including their own families, in their efforts to become Buddhist priests and to attain awakening. 

I believe that a good example of those who have embodied the meaning and the spirit of Jesus’ hyperbolic statement in Luke 14:26-27 is San Lorenzo Ruiz de Manila.

San Lorenzo was a Filipino lay assistant to the Dominicans in Manila. In 1637, together with some Dominican friars, he sailed to Japan, during the time of severe persecution. And, he and his companions were arrested there and executed.  But, before his execution, a Japanese executioner took mercy on him by offering a deal to save Lorenzo’s life and to give him a chance to be reunited with his family in Manila. All Lorenzo had to do is to denounce his faith in Christ to save his life and to be with his family. But, that would contradict the meaning and the spirit of Luke 14:26-27.

Lorenzo’s way of exercising “μισεῖ”(miseo) in Luke 14:26-27, he said to the Japanese executioner: That I will never do, because I am a Christian, and I shall die for God, and for him I will give many thousand lives if I had them. When he said this, I am sure he was detached from his family as “μισεῖ”(miseo) means to love less – to be detached.  That is why he also left his wife and children behind, practicing pabbajja, to begin with.  And, what he was detached from was not only his own family but also his own life, as he demonstrated when he was given a chance to make a choice: To choose his own life and family – or – to choose his master, the Lord Jesus Christ.   

The way Lorenzo did surely reflects the way samurais are to do as the Book of Hagakure states: When it comes to either/or, there is only a quick choice of death. It is not particularly difficult. Be determined and advance. To say that dying without reaching one’s aim is to die a dog’s death is the frivolous way of sophisticates. When pressed with the choice of life or death, it is not necessary to gain one’s aim. We all want to live. And in large part we make our logic according to what we like. But not having attained our aim and continuing to live is cowardice. This is thin dangerous line. To die without gaining one’s aim is a dog’s death and fanaticism. But there is no shame in this. This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai.  

San Lorenzo Ruiz de Manila is exemplary not only to embody the spirit of Luke 14:26-27 but also to embody the spirit of Bushido. In this sense, he sure is an idealistic “samurai” – a samurai for the Lord Jesus Christ. 

As a catechist, I always emphasize this aspect of the discipleship in my teaching of Confirmation class and RCIA, because I do not want a person with light-heartedness to enter into the communion of “samurais”, called the Christian discipleship.  Receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation for Catholics is like the gempuku rite of passage for young samurais, officially entering into the service with full understanding of the cost of the discipleship – including what the Lord Jesus Christ meant by “μισεῖ”(miseo) in Luke 14:26-27.