Sanctity of the Sacrament of Matrimony and St. Valentine

February 14 has been known as “Valentine’s Day”. 

What is your impression of Valentine’s Day? 

Chocolates? Kisses? And more sensual stuff? 

Well, that’s all there is to celebrate this day, you must have been ignorant or forgotten its sacred roots – though St. Valentine has been no  longer honored in the Catholic liturgical calendar since 1969. It is because of historical uncertainty about St. Valentine (Valentinus), as some scholar have been challenging historical accuracy about him and what he did to deserve sainthood. Thus, the Church’s understanding of St. Valentine today is that he is legendary. 

So, the official calendar of the Catholic Church today celebrates the feast of St. Cyril and St. Methodius, who were brothers – Cyril, a monk, and Methodius, a bishop, in the 9^th century Macedonia. They were credited for their missionary works for the Slavic people, very influential for the founding of the Constantinople Church, as well as extending their missionary to the Middle East. Given the magnitude of the persecution of Christians in the Middle East today, remembering the works of these two brother saints did today is very meaningful. 

That being said – not to minimize the importance of SS. Cyril and Methodius, who are officially honored on February 14, it is nevertheless important to reflect on the legend of St. Valentine. 

St. Valentine (Valentinus) was a Roman Catholic priest during the reign of Emperor Claudius II, in the 3^rd century.  Fr. Valentine became a subject of persecution, because he married Roman soldiers, who were not expected to marry at that time in the Roman Empire. 

Fr. Valentine thought that it is not good for these men to be alone – perhaps as God thought Adam should not be alone (Genesis 2:18), as read in the first reading on February 12. He had thought that it is not good that these soldiers live with constant temptations by not marrying. He also wanted these men in armors to fall in love with their suitable women and to have families, reflecting the First reading for February 12 ( Genesis 2:18-25) – even though it was a taboo to marry Roman soldier and it was clearly illegal to marry them in the holy wedlock of the Catholic Church, as the Church was still persecuted then. 

But, Fr. Valentine followed his heart, which must be reflecting God’s will, given Genesis 2:18-25. Many centuries later, St. John Paul II, declared that families based on the Sacrament of Matrimony are  building block of the Church, while they make domestic church,  in his Familiaris Consortio, 1981 and also incorporating this doctrine into his Theology of the Body. 

If we let our obsession to the argument of historical accuracy of St. Valentine go and transcend from it, as in the Buddhist teaching of detachment, we can appreciate a critical theological lesson from this legendary saint – St. Valentine. 

St. Valentine is a symbolic and legendary figure on defending the sanctity of the Sacrament of Matrimony. Given that this Sacrament has been in danger today, due to the way secular cultural norm has been attacking, it is very significant to reflect on the meaning of St. Valentine and his legend on protecting matrimony under persecution.

As Pope Francis has addressed, many families today are suffering as they are in crisis. This contemporary social problem is associated with the fact that the Sacrament of Matrimony is under severe attacks by today’s secular culture, which tries to make marriage more institutional rather than sacramental, making it a form of social contract rather than a sacred covenant. 

As Valentine’s Day has become a cheesy reminder of romantic love and commercialism, marriage has become cheap these days, while the secular cultural forces are making marriage just as good as conveniently disposable.  Lawyers enjoy making money in handling disposals of marriage made for convenience. In fact, given how today’s social culture stance on abortion and contraceptives, life is also made cheap and disposable at our own convenience, while certain people make money out of this phenomena. 

The sanctity of matrimony as Sacrament and the sanctity of life, which begins at the very moment when the lucky sperm enters in the lucky egg, are related, because it is this Sacrament of Matrimony, which St. Valentine promoted in God’s name, and sacrificed his own life for, that let life begins with conception.  In this sense, the feast of St. Valentine is also a day to reflect not only the sanctity of matrimony but also life, which begins within the sanctity of matrimonial Sacrament. 

If you are couples thinking of marriage and preparing for marriage, this day is a perfect day to ponder the very meaning of what you are trying to attain, remembering the bloody sacrifice St. Valentine made for. If you reflect on this true meaning of Valentine’s Day, you know in your heart that marriage is not a contract for your convenience but an eternal contract not just with the one to marry but more importantly with God.

Yes, though it is challenging and demanding, a path to the sanctity of the Sacrament of Matrimony can be romantic and leading to true ecstatic joy. It can be journeyed parallel to the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola for an optimal sensory experience to appreciate each other in marriage preparation together with Christ. So, you will maximize your romantic feeling, honoring “Eros”or “libido”  without turning it erotic.  Your carnal impulse will not become corrupted with eroticism as you keep “Eros” or “libido” healthy by disciplining it with the Spiritual Exercises. 

The way Valentine’s Day has been made by popular culture of the world also makes us blind to this crisis of the sanctity of marriage, as it tends to make us intoxicated with undisciplined “Eros” or “libido”. 

If you are a truly faithful and spiritually disciplined Catholic, you can recall how Adam and Eve were tempted because of a lack of their spiritual discipline or spiritual immaturity. 

Today, Satan does not appear with a serpent figure but it comes in the name of cheesy secular popular culture to rob the sanctity of the Sacrament of Matrimony.  As we continued to let this Satan’s work advance, marriage would become completely disposable, letting our own narcissistic disposition dictate it, turning ourselves against the will of God, who instituted the Sacrament of Matrimony, as reflected in Genesis 2:18-25, while the first reading for February 14 (Genesis 3:9-24) reminds of the consequences of Adam and Eve, failing to keep their promise with God – their “covenant” with God. The first reading for February 13 (Genesis 3:1-8) is a stark reminder that how Satan today is tempting us to destroy the Sacramental sanctity of matrimony. 

Let us not take the legend of St. Valentine lightly. It means not to take the sanctity of matrimony for granted. Let us remember the precious blood that this legendary saint shed for. This also leads to our reflection upon the meaning of the precious blood our Lord Jesus Christ shed on the Cross. 

This is what it means that God so loved the world – us – in making the Word flesh to mingle among us (John 3:16). This is why the matrimony, with its sacramental sanctity, mirrors this love of God poured upon us in the world. 

This is why St. Paul encourages Christian couples to practice mutually sacrificial love, agape, with joy (Ephesians 5:22-33). 

Can you and are you mature enough to lay your own life for the one you love to assure the sanctity of the Sacrament of Matrimony, as Jesus taught and did (John 10:11; 15:13)? 

To better reflect on this, perhaps, you can sing this hymn together with the one you make the Sacrament and defend the sacramental sanctity.

 Servant Song

Will you let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I might have the grace
To let you be my servant too

We are pilgrims on the journey
We are brothers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load

I will hold the Christ light for you
In the night time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh, I’ll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we’ve seen this journey through.

When we sing to God in heaven
We shall find such harmony
Born to all we’ve known together
Of Christ’s love and agony

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-Pk2NHKg_o