Though they may live in nice houses and even appear
as “happy families” to the public, so many families today are, indeed, plagued
with discord due to a plethora of problems. Inside their nice houses, father, mother, and
children are not happy with each other. They do not share common values. They
go with their own preferences, asserting their own individual rights, while
disregarding others’ values and needs, as well as their need of common value to
hold the family together. Distrust, domestic violence, child abuse and neglect,
sexual abuse, including incest, separation, divorce, and so forth. And, these
further contribute to a host of social problems, including juvenile delinquency
and school problems.
So, we ask: Is there a solution to all this?
We know that it all boils down to the quality of
families, and you do not necessarily need to be a sociologist or a psychologist
to understand the importance of the stability and harmony of family.
The Sunday during Christmas Octave has been
designated as the Feast of the Holy Family, which is composed of Jesus, the
Son, Mary, and Joseph. And, on this
feast to honor the Holy Family, we can learn something toward healing all of
these ills of today’s families, leading to achieve better society.
Given how Mary and Joseph were even before they
consummated their marriage. The both lived a life centered in God. Thus, they
did not even let their betrothal affect their lives centered in God, as Mary
responded with her fiat to her surprise virgin pregnancy not with a son of
Joseph but the Son of almighty God (Luke 1:38), and as Joseph took Mary, though
the Son in her womb was not his but God’s, as his beloved legal wife (Matthew
1:24). Mary was thinking to bear a child of Joseph upon consummation of her
marriage to him upon betrothal, while Joseph was thinking to have his child be
conceived in Mar’s womb upon consummation of his marriage to her, during their
betrothal to each other. But, it was when God, by the power of the Holy Spirit,
have His only begotten Son, be conceived in Mary’s virgin womb. Unbeknownst to
him that it was God’s will, Joseph was thinking to cancel his betrothal with
Mary because of her pregnancy, he did not as he learned that the child in
Mary’s womb was the Son of God. And this is an exemplary act of a person, whose
faith is steadfast, therefore, lives a life firmly centered in God. Otherwise,
even Mary alone had accepted God’s will on her to keep the baby in her womb,
Joseph might not have accepted her as his wife. Then, we would not have had the
Holy Family as we celebrate on this feast day.
What characterize the Holy Family as our model
family is reflected both in the First Reading (Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14 or Genesis 15:1-6;
21:1-3) and the Second Reading (Colossians 3:12-21 or Hebrews 11:8, 11-12,
17-19).
Wisdom of Ben Sirach reminds us, “God sets a father in honor over his children;
a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons”(Sirach 3:2). This is why
God commissioned both Mary and Joseph to serve Him as the parents of His Son on
earth. And it had to be Mary and Joseph because their steadfast faith, which made
them righteous in His eyes, enabled them to live a God-centered life. So, God
chose Mary and Joseph to set a perfect human family, suitable for His only
begotten Son, Christ, to dwell among us, as Jesus, who is also Emmanuel.
Another First Reading option, Genesis 15:1-6;21:1-3,
is about how God chose Abram to be the father of a multitude, many nations, all
faithful, thus calling him Abraham (Genesis 17:4-5). Abram, which means
“exalted father”, was made as Abraham, which means “father of all nations, a
great multitude”, through God’s everlasting covenant with him, with its sign of
circumcision (Genesis 17). So, in Genesis 21:1-3, God told Abraham how He will
begin fulfilling the everlasting covenant to make Abraham as his new given name
means: father of a great multitude from all nations. And it had to be Abraham for God to let him
be the father of a great multitude of all faithful, because, “Abram put his faith in the Lord, who
attributed it to him as an act of righteousness”(Genesis 15:6). So, the
Second Reading (Hebrews 11:8, 11-12, 17-19) further reflect the unparalleled
faithfulness of Abraham to deserve his name, “father of a great multitude of
all nations”.
Thus, God commissions father to set a family with
his wife, as mother, who affirms her husband’s paternal authority, for their
children to honor them (Siarch 3:2), namely as the 5th Commandment
of God’s Decalogue (Exodus 20:12; Leviticus 19:3) dictates. In fact, God the
Father had planned for His only begotten
Son, who was with Him, before the time and the Creation (John 1:1; Proverbs
8:22-31), to be incarnated in Mary’s womb, thus, planning to make Mary the
Immaculate Conception (Ineffabilis Deus,
Pius IX), as announced to Mary (Luke 1:26-38) and to Joseph (Matthew
1:18-25), to have Joseph the earthly father and to have Mary as the mother for
His Son, the Christ, named Jesus, which means “God saves”, because both Mary
and Joseph were as righteous as Abraham, in His eyes.
The First Reading tells that parents must
demonstrate the kind of righteousness of Abraham, Mary, and Joseph, for
children to grown and honor them, as in the 5th Commandment. The righteousness of Mary and Joseph, fitting
to be perfect parents, is well reflected in the God-centered life of faith,
according to the Law, as joyfully sung in Psalm 119.
With Jesus, the Son, Mary and Joseph walk according
to the Law of the Lord (Psalm 119:1), living according to the Word of God
(Psalm 119:9), being delighted in God’s commandments (Psalm 119:47) and in His
Law (Psalm 119:174).
As Abraham was so, both Mary and Joseph are
absolutely obedient and faithful to God, as they are able to set aside all
their own thoughts and desires for the sake of God’s will and Word upon them,
even before they became the parents of Jesus, the Christ. So, Mary demonstrated
this in her fiat (Luke 1:38) and Joseph, too, in his silent consent to accept
Mary, who was already pregnant with the incarnated Christ, as his legal wife
(Matthew 1:24), even though Mary’s virgin pregnancy with the Son of God was
totally unbeknownst to them – until Angel Gabriel came to tell. Mary and Joseph
were already betrothed to prepare themselves to live together upon their
marriage’s consummation. But, before being told by Angel Gabriel in his dream,
Joseph was thinking to quietly divorce Mary, as he just could not take her as
his wife, made pregnant by someone other than him before the consummation of
their marriage (Matthew 1:19). However, upon being assure that it was done by
the power of God to fulfill Messianic prophecies, such as Isaiah 7:14, he
scrapped his own plan to divorce her and took Mary as his wife (Matthew 1:24),
reminding that a man to be father makes his decision based not on his own will
but on the will of God – just as Abraham did so.
So, the Gospel Reading (Luke 2:22-40) describes how
Mary and Joseph served God, remaining steadfastly obedient to His Law, after
giving birth to the Son.
First, Mary had to literally quarantine herself from
sacred objects and the sanctuary upon giving birth to Jesus, in accordance with
Leviticus 12:1-5. So, when she was over with this Torah-requirement of
postpartum purification quarantine, together with her husband, Joseph, Mary
brought 40-day-old baby Jesus to the Temple in Jerusalem for firstborn son
dedication to God, which is also known as “pidyon
haben” , with a belief of God’s redemption through the dedication of
firstborn Jewish male babies, in response to killing all firstborns of houses
not marked with the lamb’s blood, for Passover, and thus, made into the
commandment in Exodus 13:12-15. Given
God’s purpose to let Mary and Joseph serve as his parents on earth, it is
crucial that Mary and Joseph bring baby Jesus to the Temple for presentation
and dedication, in accordance with Exodus 13:12-15, because Jesus, the
incarnated Christ, was sent by the Father to save and redeem a multitude of
humanity from the influence of Satan – and eventually to destroy Satan (Genesis
3:15).
And, it was this old man, named, Simeon, filled with
the Holy Spirit, who recognized the baby brought by Mary and Joseph to God in
the Temple, as the Messiah, the Christ, whose coming had been prophesized for
centuries, at least the time when Ahaz was king of Judah. So, Simeon spoke his prophetic vision on her
Son:
Behold,
this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a
sign that will be contradicted (and you yourself a sword will pierce) so that
the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed (Luke 2:34-35).
What do these words of Simeon mean? No, he was not telling the mother of the baby
how cute the baby is. And, he was not telling that the Son of God in her arm,
being presented to God for the firstborn dedication, according to Exodus
13:12-15, is not just to please her but rather what this baby boy will bring
later as the Messiah the Christ cause sufferings on her, as well. Namely,
Simeon foresaw and told Mary how the world react to him and his Gospel and how
all of this will affect her, as well, reflecting what had been prophesized in
Isaiah 52:13-53:12, and how all of this affect her as his mother, as the Theotokos.
Simeon’s gift of prophecy, as being filled with the
Holy Spirit, was exceptional to see the whole Paschal Mystery in the 40-day-old
baby Jesus, from his mother’s breast to the Cross – and how her heart will be with
all the pains over watching her Son suffer and die.
Did Mary flinch? Of course not. Because of her
fiat. She knew she made herself the
humble and obedient handmaid of God so that, no matter what, His Word,
according to His will be done on her – even it brings a lot of suffering on her
and even it demands life of her Son.
To Mary and Joseph, their marriage was primarily to
serve God as the earthly parents of His only begotten Son so that this Son will
grow up strong enough to serve Him as the suffering Messiah (Isaiah
52:13-53:12). They understood that the suffering is not just suffering but it
is redemptive suffering, and the presentation of the 40-day-old baby Jesus to
God in the Temple (Luke 2:22-40) was ultimately for this redemption of the
humanity from Satan’s influence.
Thus, St. John Paul II writes:
He reveals the original truth of marriage, the truth
of the "beginning," and, freeing man from his hardness of heart, He makes
man capable of realizing this truth in its entirety. This revelation reaches
its definitive fullness in the gift of love which the Word of God makes to
humanity in assuming a human nature, and in the sacrifice which Jesus Christ
makes of Himself on the Cross for His bride, the Church. In this sacrifice
there is entirely revealed that plan which God has imprinted on the humanity of
man and woman since their creation ; the marriage of baptized persons thus
becomes a real symbol of that new and eternal covenant sanctioned in the blood
of Christ. The Spirit which the Lord pours forth gives a new heart, and renders
man and woman capable of loving one another as Christ has loved us. Conjugal
love reaches that fullness to which it is interiorly ordained, conjugal
charity, which is the proper and specific way in which the spouses participate
in and are called to live the very charity of Christ who gave Himself on the
Cross (Familiaris Consortio, 13).
As John Paul II reminds in the above words,
Christian husband and Christian wife united with Christ as one through the
Sacrament of Matrimony become a real symbol of the eternal covenant sanctioned
in Christ’s blood. The Christ’s blood is redemptive (Revelation 7:14), as the
blood of the unblemished lamb at Passover was redemptive to those who observed
God’s command in Egypt (Exodus 12:1-28). And, out of this Passover experience,
all firstborn sons of Israel have been commanded to be presented and dedicated
to God (Exodus 13:12-15). Finally, Mary and Joseph brought their firstborn Son,
Jesus, to fulfill this commandment of firstborn dedication, in the presence of
God in the Temple. To really fulfill, this Son will have to die, unlike other
firstborn sons of Israel, so that this 40-year-old firstborn Son of Mary and Joseph
is truly destine to fulfill Isaiah 52:13-53;12, as the suffering Messiah, and
furthermore, as the Son of the woman to destroy Satan (Genesis 3:15; Revelation
20:6-9). And, this redemptive dedication of firstborn son is done in light of
the caritas of Christ with its family context of the fullness of their parents’
conjugal love.
John Paul II further says:
When they become parents, spouses receive from God
the gift of a new responsibility. Their parental love is called to become for
the children the visible sign of the very love of God, "from whom every
family in heaven and on earth is named."
(Ibid, 14).
To a growing baby Jesus, the Son, Mary and Joseph
were the visible sign of the very love of God on earth. That is why Jesus grew
strong, filled with wisdom, while the favor of God the Father was upon him
(Luke 2:40) – because both Mary and Joseph continue to serve as an instrument
of God’s will of salvation and redemption on earth.
In response to his faithful parents, whose lives and
marriages are firmly centered in God, Jesus grew to revere Mary and Joseph as
he did so to the Father in heaven.
Do children today really revere their parents? And
do their parents really behave to deserve reverence from their children? If
not, what keeps them from exercising reverence to parents and deserving to be
revered by children?
Reverence given by children to parents in a family
is the bottom line to keep the healthy structure of family, which Salvador
Minuchen clinically focuses on in his “structural family therapy” module. And, with such a reverence-based family
structure, there is a healthy functional communication among family members to
share their hearts, as reflected in Murray Bowen’s “family system theory”, to
keep family as one, no matter how diverse its members may become.
In fact, reverence in family, between children and
parents, as the primary structure of healthy family, reflects our reverence to
God. And our reverence to God means our faithfulness and obedience, as
exemplified by Abraham, Mary, and Joseph, thus, fitting to raise baby Jesus in
their family structure as the Son of God, the Christ, the Messiah, for our
redemption. In God’s everlasting
covenant with us through Abraham (Genesis 17:7), there is a sense of reverence
to God. And this everlasting covenant is reflected in matrimonial covenant to
binding husband and wife as one to have children so that mutual reverence
characterizes the family, resulting from such a Christian marriage.
The key Hebrew word for reverence is יָרֵא/yare, which is also translated as “to fear”. And, this is found in today’s
responsorial Psalm refrain from Psalm 128:1, “Blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways. Blessed is
everyone who fears the Lord”. In other words, those who revere God, those
who see God with reverence, are blessed by God, as Abraham, Mary, and Joseph
are. And, the same Hebrew word, יָרֵא/yare,
is also used to say, “Each of you revere
your mother and father, and keep my sabbaths. I, the Lord, am your God”(Leviticus
19:3).
Reverence-fear, יָרֵא/yare,
is what is common to characterize both everlasting covenant of God with us and
family, which grew out of matrimonial covenant. If no יָרֵא/yare in a family, it is at great risk to face structural and
functional problems.
So, we can see how
set the structure and functionality of healthy family of God-centered
life from these words of Paul from the first
option for the Second Reading:
Wives,
be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your
wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. Children, obey your parents in
everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your
children, so they may not become discouraged (Colossians
3:18-21).
This means wives find Mary as their model, in placing
themselves under their husbands’ authorities, in reference to Sirach 3:2,
supporting husband’s authority, especially over children, as we do so to God and
His authority in His Law, Word, and will with our יָרֵא/yare to Him. In response, husbands love their wives as God
loves us through His everlasting covenant. And, this relational character of
husband and wife (father and mother) sets a healthy structure and functionality
of a family, in which children are treated with love and learn to have their יָרֵא/yare to their parents.
The Greek word used in the original text for “be
subordinate”/”submit” is ὑποτάσσω/hupotasso,
which is composed of ὑπό/hupo(hypo),
meaning “under”, and τάσσω/tasso,
which means “to arrange properly, to be appointed, to be placed”. If your proud
ego makes you issues with this word and Colossians 3:18, read Ephesians 5:17-33,
in juxtaposition to Colossians 3:12-21. And, think and reflect again the
intention and meaning behind this word, ὑποτάσσω/hupotasso,
especially in Ephesians 5:21, to know it is not just wife to husband but
husband to wife, as well. So, reflect how mutual and willing act of ὑποτάσσω/hupotasso between husband and wife also reflect rheie
shared יָרֵא/yare to God, and how
this will affecf their children grow.
If you want your family to be blessed by God and to
stay functional with a healthy structure, then, you sure can find the Holy
Family as exemplary, as addressed in the Scriptural texts of this feast Sunday,
in conjunction with Ephesians 5:17-33.
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